Britain's Got Talent Fourth Night Recap

Our vox pops this week are people who are proud to be British.

Our vox pops this week are people who are proud to be British. "Once you realise that you've been born British, you realise you've won the lottery of life" states a butcher. We see people getting ready via cameras peering through their bedroom windows. At least, I hope they're getting ready for auditions and the director isn't just a peeping tom on the side.

The Showbears get prepared backstage and one of them doesn't know who Alisha Dixon is (and automatically loses five gay points judging by the gasps of one of the teammates). They sing It's Raining Men in a typical cabaret-on-the-outskirts-of-Newcastle fashion. Simon isn't keen on them, whereas David seems to be in sequin-sailor heaven. For a laugh, David joins in for a rendition, and this time doesn't get buzzed from Simon. They're through, and one assumes that David will also join them for the finale.

Act Two, and we're in Birmingham. A Hungarian basketball group called Faceteam (which is also what Geordies use when they want to use video chat on their iPhones) come in holding their balls. They jump up on trampettes and score baskets. They even juggle. #SLAMDUNK yells the ITV hashtag generator. It's all pretty impressive, and they are naturally through.

Hope Murphy, the epitomy of Essex, has been singing in the shower since she was a toddler. She's finally got out of the shower to audition for Britain's Got Talent. A karaoke intro begins to a song I've never heard of, but Simon Cowell is sick of hearing that song. Fair enough. She changes her song choice, and I'm shocked! And it's a song that shows off her opera voice! It's such an astonishing turn of events I can hardly hold my cup of tea. Anyway, after this obviously-not-planned turn of events, Hope gets four yeses.

Act Three, and we're now in Edinburgh. Neil Lawson dons a Frank N Furter costume, and does a pretty good rendition of Sweet Transvestite. We're half an hour in, and so far we haven't had any "wacky" acts. The kazoo/piano/ukelele player seemed to be a pretty fun act, but he's dismissed. As are The Pipe Bandits. And Ina and June. So, that's four wacky acts in a row, one assumes the next person will be good.

That next person is Paige Turley, a 25-year old 14-year old. She sings Skinny Love and is through. This is starting to peeve me off a bit, because this is the third singing act who is through to Britain's Got Talent. The whole point of BGT existing is to showcase other talents (such as the kazoo/uke/piano player). Well, what can you do. Act three over.

Act Four! Now we're in London. Again. Dance troupe United We Stand are from Stratford, and have been excited since the announcement that the Olympics will be hosted in their home town (of Stratford?). They'll use the prize money for a community centre. They're pretty good, so it'll be interesting to see them fight against Twist and Pulse's dance troupe. (That's what happens in the final, right? A fight to the death?). Four yeses, they're through.

In our final act, we're shown a marathon of dancing double acts, who all get through (but at a rate so fast that I doubt we'll see any of them again). Strictly Wheels are the group that we get a backstory on. Surprisingly, we find out about how she ended up in the wheelchair without them resorting to Snow Patrol playing in the background. They're pretty inventive, and I especially like the way they use each other to support the other one. They're all through, but I can honestly visual an accident where she runs over him, causing him also to be in a wheelchair. Might be a bit more challenging.

So, our semi-finalists of the night! The Showbears (Sequin Sailor Soldier Spy-Curious), Faceteam (The Hungary Games), Hope Murphy (The Only Octave is Essex), Paige Turley (Scotty Love), United We Stand (Diversity We Fall) and Strictly Wheels (I can't think of a better name for them than 'Strictly Wheels').

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