Workers and Shirkers

11/07/2012 16:37 BST | Updated 10/09/2012 10:12 BST

'We back the workers, they back the shirkers' retorted Cameron today in a Prime Minister's Questions that became so vicious that at one point the Conservative MP Ann Marie Morris shouted so hard she appeared to break her own arm. Ok, so it may have been in a sling beforehand, but I reckon that was in preparation for an outburst that was akin to watching someone in one of those churches have a demon removed. I often have to keep reminding myself that these are the people in charge whenever I watch PMQs. As they sit there braying, waiting to jeer or mock anyone who dares speak, and when they do finally get a chance to ask a question, Cameron often bounces back with a comment rather than an answer. I'm starting to believe that it's known as 'PMQs' and not 'PMAs' due to nothing ever really being addressed.

The 'workers/shirkers' line was clearly one that Cameron was pleased about. His face dropped a few shades of crimson as it was delivered, this now being the colour indicator that I use to judge his stress levels. Like a facial Defcon chart. It's interesting that he continues to insult Milliband with the phrase 'Red Ed' despite Ed's face usually remaining far more Pink Nevada on the Dulux scale. Not that calling someone 'red' should be an insult. For someone who is suggesting his party 'back the workers' the red was meant to symbolise the blood of the workers. I don't think this is remembered by many Labour MPs, but to say their leader does carry socialist ethos is surely only making him more appealing to everyone who is suffering under the current government? There are very few political stances that should be used as insults. 'Hey you! You that pretends you are left wing! You're really left wing you are!' Well done Cameron on accusing Labour of being the political stance they say they are. Red's great. Red was the best character in the Fraggles.Bull, Hot Chilli Peppers and robin breasts all appreciate it a lot. There's also nothing wrong with being left wing. Or right wing. It's a belief, a stance, and its how you operate within that that's the issue. So calling someone a colour isn't an insult - unless its, er, done in a racial way - and if you operate a political party that cannot appreciate or listen other political stances then it makes a mockery of your own.

But I bet Dave was smug about it anyway. A few pats on the back for 'Red Ed' and several more for saying his party backs workers while Labour's back shirkers. Hilarious! Oh how fun! How fun to say Labour backs shirkers. Shirkers, which the dictionary definition states is 'someone who avoids or neglects a duty or responsibility.' Someone like Lansley who wanted to absolve Parliament from accountability of the NHS. Someone like Jeremy Hunt who blamed the entire BSkyB farce on his special adviser Adam Smith. Someone like Osborne who keeps blaming his ever increasing government spending, u-turning and the Libor scandal on the opposition or the Eurozone or the sunshine or the moonlight. Someone like Cameron who yesterday said it was Labour who blocked the Lords Reform when his own party were also outspoken about their disapproval to it. Someone like that. That's a shirker.

Worker on the other hand means 'a person or a thing that works'. The government totally support those. All those hard workers that due to cuts to tax credits brought in by Cameron and Co will now need to earn at least £36k to live comfortably. Those workers that are currently making up 7 out of 8 people on benefits because their salary isn't enough to live on. You know the ones Iain Duncan Smith thinks should work until they are 70 to get a pension that will barely pay for them to breathe by the time they receive it. The ones William Hague tells to 'work harder' despite the government removing more people's hopes of getting a job in the first place. Those workers who are threatened with having their JSA removed if they don't work for free as Jubilee or Olympic stewards under conditions that go against most EU work regulations. Workers, who unlike all the MPs don't get to go on break from now till September 3rd, have a few weeks back then go on break again till mid October.

According to Cameron the Tories back those workers while Labour are busy backing the shirkers. If that's really true then based on definitions and the PM's logic, Milliband is backing the Conservative Party and Cameron is far more Red than Ed for supporting the labourers. These are the people running the country remember?