PARENTS

Achtung Baby Or The "V" Word

26/10/2009 09:51 | Updated 22 May 2015

A recent ParentDish article by Joanne Mallon posed the question "What do your children call their Privates?" Well, I think I have the best word, for our little girls at least, and what's more I'm willing to share!

With Finje progressing at an impressive speed from "Head, shoulders, knees and toes" and now being able to proudly name most of the other parts of her body, I figured it was only a matter of time before the question arose.

Good to be prepared, I thought, racking my brains to come up with a suitable and becoming English word to teach my little girl, only to discover my vocabulary in this particular area somewhat lacking. Nothing wrong with vagina of course, but I agree it does sound a bit, well, biological. My grandmother's advice to "keep your finger on your tuppence" seems a bit old-fashioned not to mention that for us the appropriate version would be "keep your finger on your euro!"

Not quite the same.

A quick survey of English speaking friends did little to help the cause. Yum yum, hoo haa, kitty and flower being a selection of the (printable) options. Charming, I'm sure, but frankly uninspiring and rather lacking in character I thought. Maybe "flower" at a push but she knows that word and I'm already cringing at the potential confusion that would cause.

So my hopes lay with my second language but on questioning my German husband it seemed that even the labyrinthine language of Goethe struggles to come up with a suitable vagina substitute. My saving grace came in the form of my Hungarian friend. The Hungarian "v" word used by children is.....nuni.

NUNI!

Clearly anyone in their right mind would agree this should be the international word for vagina. It's perfect. I fell in love with my new noun immediately and couldn't wait to share it with Finje.

I waited for just the right moment and at bath time hit her with it:

"OK sweetie don't forget to wash your nuni"

"What's my nuni mama?"

"This is your nuni baby"

"But mama, Lena at kindergarten says that's a vagina"

So, vagina it is. Any more suggestions?

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