On a recent quest to the bottom of the washing basket, I made a remarkable discovery. Not only could I carbon date my housework from within the mountain of clothes, but also my life.
I lie to my son almost every day, at least twice a week, usually little white ones that I've gauged to be for his own benefit, but they're lies all the same. And he's started catching me at it. Having hoovered up one bowl of ice cream, he requests another. "We're all out," I casually fib.
It is never too early to start a good nap and bedtime routine for your little ones. Doing the same thing every night will help calm your baby and reassure them as well as letting them know what is coming.
Silly Mummy is miming rooting around in the invisible bag: 'Look, The Toddler, what's this Mummy has here? Mummy has something here for you. Let Mummy just find it...ah, yes, here it is! Look: it's SHH!' Silly Mummy pulls the 'shh' finger out of the bag.
Embrace the Mum-Bod - learn to love your new shape because it's going nowhere fast. Of course there are the rare few that will bounce straight back into their size 8 skinnies but for the rest of us mere mortals, it's best not to get too hung up on our new slightly wider shape, it will make shopping way too depressing...
In my mind, I was done with buying shoes for at least three months. My twins were both a size 5f at that time, and I just did not see their feet growing beyond that for a while. I was so wrong.
They say that there are two things you can be sure of in life, and that is death and taxes. Well I disagree. I believe there are three things you can be absolutely, completely sure of. Death, taxes and that your children will produce mountains and mountains of poo.
On the one hand, there is progress for individual women, which must be a good thing, but on the other discrimination continues, in part because there are more women staying in the workforce after having children.
Narrator: It's a lovely sunny day and Peppa and George are playing in the garden. Peppa: I'm better at jumping up and down in muddy puddles than you are. You're rubbish. [GEORGE KICKS PEPPA, PEPPA RUNS INSIDE CRYING]. Narrator: Mummy Pig is in the kitchen, wondering what happened to her life.
With indoor soft play, survival is all about mental preparation. You need to be prepared for the shit that is about to get real.
Symptoms of PP are varied and can change quickly. Feeling 'high', 'manic' or 'on top of the world', low mood and tearfulness, and anxiety or irritability are all pretty common. Most commonly these episodes begin in the first two weeks after birth and often symptoms begin in the first few days after having a baby...
I found some employers acting like sexist dinosaurs, while other companies are much more enlightened when it comes to pregnancy in the workplace. I've changed the names of some of the women who spilled the beans to protect them from identification.
Children always offer great perspective when we take the time to listen. The controversial killing of Cecil the Lion saddened my six-year-old daughter but what most confounded her was why an educated adult would actually choose to rid the world of lions.
The most important bit, though, is that I'm realising that my style is not one image, one type of trouser or top or dress which defines me as a whole, but rather an array of clothes which are suitable for the different versions of 'me'.
For one of our children, words of praise or encouragement are especially important. When he was about 11 years old, I was looking for something in his bedroom and discovered a shoebox under his bed. I took the lid off and found it was full of cards, notes and scraps of paper.
I'm just going to come right out and say it. Toddlers are better than babies. Babies, while gorgeous and squishy and delicious-smelling, are basically just tiny little blobs of skin and bodily fluids and noise. Toddlers on the other hand, can be pretty cool little humans to hang out with.
As parents, surely we can all agree that we want the same thing - the best for our kids. And, that we all have our own style of doing things and children with very different personalities and needs.
I am not going to tell you what to do, how to grieve. I cannot do those things, because while we may share a similar experience in common our individual journeys are so very personal. I felt so alone after my son died, and I hope this letter offers even a tiny bit of comfort to you.