When I first found out I was pregnant I was over the moon but had no idea that as soon as the baby popped (or in my case pulled) out, I inadvertently had signed some weird invisible contract, that it appears I can't get out of for the foreseeable future.
Fundamentally, I think being honest about motherhood means accepting women of all shapes, sizes and looks can give birth, without putting a label on what a 'real' mum looks like. A real mum is a woman who looks after her child and if she does that looking flipping fantastic or does it wearing yesterday's mascara then who are we to judge?
I knew that I might not survive. The cancer was highly aggressive and the surgeries were very risky, carrying a 50% percent paralysis risk. At times I was tempted to focus on the injustice of it all. I'd done nothing to deserve this, but no cancer patient ever does. So, instead of staring hopelessly at the bleakness of my situation I determined to be positive...
According to the Conservative Party manifesto the 15 hours a week currently available to children following their third birthday is going to be doubled to 30 hours from 2017.
It is a myth that C-sections are the easy way out. Maybe if people stopped making birth a big test of motherhood and defining the experience by pain and endurance, perhaps women wouldn't be scared into booking elective caesareans.
On the way home from school, having clearly thought about this all day, he asked me if he could ask his friends to donate money to Nepal rather than to give him presents at his upcoming birthday party. Alasdair also wanted to donate some money from his own piggy bank.
I can see that in theory, when the room temperature is just so, the blinds are drawn and the appropriate gaps between naps have been reached; I should happily nod off. However, as we are both aware, this often isn't how it goes down. And you, I am guessing, want to know why.
Dating after kids is a different world from dating before kids. No longer does my date have to impress my mother over Sunday lunch before the relationship becomes serious. Now, I care more about whether she impresses my children.
Nine months of pregnancy can really take its toll on your body. Your hair, your skin, your nails, even your teeth can be effected by the new hormones circulating your body and it's rarely for the better!
Aliens landed in our backyard one night and inhabited the kids for what we earthlings call the Teen Years. Little do they know I have cracked their code.
What you need to remember, that happy parents tend to have happier children. And if the two of you are much happier divorced, then your children will eventually accept, that divorce is a pure act of two adults who have decided they are no longer happy to be together.
Don't get me wrong, a toy is a great tool for teaching kids. But I bet you my baby boy's first tooth that the new PC toys that are hitting the market right now will, like all the toys before them, change nothing unless we change the stories we, the adults, tell about diversity.
It's in the ordinary where we now find so much joy. Being together as a family, watching a film together, seeing Rog teach Sam how to play chess, and Flo grab an armful of books and snuggle up in bed next to her dad.
In recent times, an already tough job has got that much harder. The recession coupled with drastic cuts to public spending has left many single parents worse off, fighting just to keep their heads above water.
I know I am lucky that my husband has a job where this is financially viable for us to do. I know I am luckier still that I am out in Dubai as a stay at home mum, where it is the "normal" to stay at home so both myself, and the toddler, have a great social network.
As an atheist parent can I let off a sigh of relief? Not really because if you want your children to immerse themselves in the virtues of humanist liberalism will I not be also criticised for indoctrinating them?
In 2015, the environment available to majority of women is counterproductive for birth and not based on what we know is best for mums. It is this that I think we as a society, should be pursing as an essential change to offset the very real risk of losing the beauty of childbirth. Why is this so?
Because these are our children, and the problems they are exhibiting are ones we are giving them (and by we, I mean all of us living in the developed world - these problems cross countries and continents).