The Newborn Diaries: Baby Is Inspired By The Movies

10/04/2011 20:48 | Updated 22 May 2015


Baby Diana is already experimenting with the notion that life can imitate art. She's recently taken to recreating iconic movie moments (amazing considering she has yet to see these films).

For instance, we had a remarkably realistic rendition of a scene from The Exorcist a few weeks back, when Diana gave me her take on projectile vomiting (with no need for special effects!)

I have no idea what happened; everything was seemingly fine, baby D was having a nap on the couch next to me, when suddenly she woke up and vomited all over me, the couch and the floor. This happened two more times before I called NHS Direct in a panic.

Thinking it was over, I naively washed both of us and changed our clothes after the third vomiting session. Of course, baby D promptly projectiled all over the new outfits (I guess she gets bonus points for staying in character?)

Even after the nurse on the other line reassured me that this was perfectly normal, I was pretty shaky. But Diana seemed fine (actually, she was quite relaxed throughout) and everything went back to normal.

Until three weeks later, it happened again. This time, having gone through the hideousness once, I was relaxed and composed; my husband, who was witnessing his mini exorcist for the first time, was in a state of panic.

It could have been worse - both times, the projectile goo has been milky white as opposed to Exorcist-pea green, but I was concerned because I had tried to feed baby D a bit of scrambled egg on both occasions. There is a lot of contradictory advice about when you can actually start feeding your child egg (apparently the yolk is OK from six months, but the white can cause an allergic reaction if eaten sooner).

Lesson learned: I'm steering clear of eggs entirely until baby D is at least a year old.

Baby D has also taken to emulating a rather hilarious cinematic personage: Dr Evil from Austin Powers. Diana likes to copy his signature move of finger entering mouth whenever he comes up with some brilliant plan to destroy the universe. In Diana's case, this is because of an exciting new development on baby D's gumline: her first tooth!

Now that I've stopped breastfeeding and Diana is trying to finger feed herself, teeth are something that I welcome rather than fear. So the pinky or index finger jabbed in her mouth is a sort of chew toy for Diana, who uses it to rub the tiny bit of tooth that's broken through her gums. (If she is plotting global demise, she's looking super adorable doing it).

Baby D has also developed a complicated relationship with our home printer, à la the characters in Office Space. While she hasn't taken to smashing it with a baseball bat yet, she does often bang it in frustration. Also, it's located on the floor under the desk, and she is determined to conquer it by scaling the thing.

While she hasn't managed to do that yet, she does use it to propel herself up to standing and then trying to crawl over it while hitting it and reaching for the wire behind it (which she is striving to put - where else? - in her mouth).

I guess it's time to baby proof the house. And perhaps award Diana an Oscar as well.

For more musings on new motherhood, follow me on Twitter @JenBNYC.

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