Lordy, I am sick of hearing my name! Philippa this, Pippa that – even in the light of huge events that have happened in recent weeks, Pip Middleton seems to be all the world really wants to talk about.
I wonder if the gorgeous younger sister of the Duchess of Cambridge could possibly have imagined the media attention she would gain after those images of her sashaying up the aisle (particularly those shot from behind) were broadcast to the world.
Her peachy derriere now has fans all over the globe. One of the many Facebook pages dedicated to it – the Pippa Middleton Ass Appreciation Society – has almost 215,000 'members' as I write this. While I'm very pleased for Pip's bum, I do wonder whether Pip herself is finding it a bit creepy that so many thousands seek to publicly celebrate it. What's more, I think it is fair to say that a line has been crossed; what was initially mostly good-humoured admiration of her physical form has strayed into the realms of nasty and intrusive perving.
Obviously it rarely lives up to its name, being neither newsy or worldly, but even the News of the World must have questioned exactly how it was going to justify running front page photos of Pip sunbathing in a bikini whilst on holiday in Ibiza... five years ago, in 2006. "Oh buoy it's Pippa" the headline jeered, "...and she's topless inside".
Bleurghh.
Those pictures and the story have since been removed from the paper's website after the Middleton clan reportedly had a word with the Press Complaints Commission. But there's little they can do to stop the internet circulation of photos taken of Pippa taken years ago dancing round in her bra, or wearing nothing but a dress made of white loo roll. Equally, there's little to be done to prevent the world and his sex starved son openly discussing on various forums what they'd like to do to her.
Given her stunning looks and the nature of her propulsion into the global spotlight, it's understandable she has become an object of fascination. But I think the young woman deserves a little more respect than she's receiving. THAT dress, as it has commonly become referred to, is described on more than one website I've come across as leaving "little to the imagination".
Really?! I feel that is rather wishful thinking. It was fantastically tailored to her shape, but it wasn't particularly low cut, and on the big day Pip flashed not so much as an ankle. Anyone actually interested in her choice of clothing, rather than what's underneath it, will know she rarely steps out in public wearing anything cut high above the knee.
Nevertheless, however well covered, it seems having a fit body makes you fair game. A US porn baron Steve Hirsch even took from Pippa's attire and (demure and totally fitting in my opinion) behaviour on April 29th the idea that she might like to have a go at bonking on camera. Of course! Of course the future king of England's sister-in-law is going to get her kit off and have sex on film!
It was a pretty generous offer actually – $5m for "one explicit scene" – but just the fact that the plonker even asked the question, and the web has since gone crazy with utterly preposterous headlines such as: "Will Pippa make a splash into the porn movie scene?" just proves that much of the world is only interested in one thing where the other Ms Middleton is concerned.
I do hope Pip can shake off the image that's wished upon her, as some sort of tarty party girl, and eventually be seen for what (in the public spotlight anyway) she actually is: a picture of elegance. In the meantime, between yawning at the deluge of predictable 'headlines', I guess I'll do what any other smart Pip must be doing right now and make the most of the trends on Twitter.