If you are a parent who likes nice quiet toys made of sustainable materials, look away now. This year's hottest novelty toy, Dave the Funky Shoulder Monkey, has arrived.
Hamley's, Toys R Us and Sky News have all picked out Dave as a top selling toy this Christmas. But I can't say I welcomed the advent of Dave into our household. If I want a scruffy-looking beast who makes burping noises and breaks wind I have two children and a partner to choose from already.
Dave's USP is that he sits on your shoulder (with the aid of a special harness and some velcro). We found the shoulder harness fiddly and the instructions hard to decipher - the best guide is the picture on the box. Dave never felt 100% secure on our family's shoulders, so we sat him on our laps or table instead. Dave the Funky Kitchen Table Monkey's not got quite the same ring to it though.
Originally designed for children aged 5 to 15, Dave's popularity has spread to bigger kids too. You just know that this toy has got Funny Uncle written all over it. So if you've got an attention-seeking brother-in-law who's the comedian of the family, this is the thing for him.
Dave can do over 30 actions, from cute to cheeky. At around 20cm high, he looks like a little spider monkey, with black and white fur. He's operated via a mini remote control (batteries included) which you can hide in your hand so it really does look like he's moving independently. He'll say hello, wave, dance, belch and fart. Unsurprisingly, my children found him irresistible.
Dave the Funky Shoulder Monkey is out now, RRP £25.99, current cheapest price is £17.95 from Dealtastic
Here's a video - what do you think? Will Dave be perched on your shoulder this Christmas?