Australian billionaire Clive Palmer has announced that he's planning to build another Titanic. Or as it's already amazingly being dubbed: Titanic II.
But why stop there, Clive? Why not revive other famous man-made disasters? If you're stuck for ideas, we've got a few for you:
There were 36 fatalities when the German passenger airship LZ 129 Hindenburg caught fire. But we think that just proves that people are <em>dying</em> to go up in airships, Clive! Geddit?!
Imagine all the money you could make from guided tours, Clive! Not to mention all the sales of glow-in-the-dark toys in the gift shop... and glow-in-the-dark food in the restaurant.
We know what you're wondering, Clive: "But <em>which</em> early Wright Brothers plane should I revive?!" Well, why not try the Wright Model C - it had a tendency to nose dive and was deemed by the US government "dynamically unsuited for flying". Perfect!
Yes, yes: it may be highly toxic and cause serious health hazards. But it keeps things super-warm! Perhaps you could line the cabins on Titanic II with it?
Remember your namesake's amazing invention, Clive? Well, the only reason it didn't take off in Britain is that no one over here loves a winner. In Australia, however, we think they'd appreciate the Sinclair C5. Or as you could obviously call it: the Palmer C5.
As the documentary <em>Jurassic Park</em> proved, dinosaurs can indeed be man-made. But don't be put off by how things panned out in the movie, Clive. All you need to ensure is that you don't make Sir Richard Attenborough's mistake and get ideas above your station. Stick to herbivores.