Achtung Baby: As Ghoulish As You Can Please

30/09/2012 22:43 | Updated 22 May 2015

Finje as a vampireGruselig (roughly pronounced grooselig) is a magnificent German word which amalgamates the English creepy, spooky, blood curdling, ghoulish, sinister into one rather wonderful onomatopoeic noun.

So fantastically descriptive and fun to say, children employ it on a regular, if not on occasion, inappropriate basis.

With Halloween, creeping up on us (see what I did there?) said children are enthusiastically planning their costumes, each one hoping to appear more gruselig than the next.

Finje is no exception. She approached me a few days ago, sporting her "I have something very serious to say" face to ask if she could be a vampire on Halloween. Why a vampire I was interested to know.

According to my daughter, vampires are much, much more gruselig than monsters, witches or ghosts. They always wear black, which in a happy coincidence is her favourite colour, have black hair (apparently the epitome of gruselig), have pointy teeth with blood on them and yellow fingernails.

Gruselig indeed.

This rather impressive description from the girl, who, on seeing us saw a branch from our apple tree, collapsed into meltdown because we were, and I quote, "chopping one of his arms off!"

Still, keen to encourage any indication that my sensitive little girl might be, at last, channelling her Yorkshire DNA, I set about my assignment with vigour. Having chanced upon a cape in a local second hand shop which cost me the princely sum of 50 cents, I was prepared to dole out for some white face make up and "pointy teeth".

Not wishing to run the risk of not appearing gruselig enough on the Big Night, we decided on a trial run. A rather entertaining afternoon followed, involving much smearing of face paints and practicing of our most vampirish grimaces.

So, I wanted to know, was Finje satisfied? I was thrilled to learn, that in her opinion, she was the very best, most gruselig vampire ever, in the whole world, ever.

I stood triumphant. The mother who withers at the idea of children's parties, whimpers at the thought of having to "craft" anything and doesn't even have sticky-back plastic in the house, had managed to impress her daughter.

As she disrobed, removed the teeth and scrubbed her face back to beauty, I was struggling to wipe the self-satisfied grin off my face. I should, of course, have known better;


"Yes my darling"

"What is a vampire actually?"


Achtung Baby
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