If the key to reducing cases of abuse in the home is to get people talking about the problem, then an interactive video quiz, supported by singer Alesha Dixon, should certainly help.
The animation, which is part of the 'Support a Friend' campaign run by domestic violence charity Refuge, prompts viewers to question their own beliefs about what constitutes abusive behaviour.
The video ask questions such as: "How will you respond if she confides in you? Will you say: 'But he seems such a nice guy'.. Yes or No?"
Watch the full video below and take the quiz
"It's a horrifying thought that one in 4 of my female friends could be affected by domestic violence in their lifetime. This video could help you understand more about domestic violence, spot the signs and how to support those who need it," says Alesha, who works with beauty company Avon to raise awareness of women's issues.
"Together we can pass on the word about the signs of domestic abuse in the hope of ending violence against women."
According to the video, victims seldom know how to communicate what's happening to them, as abusers often appear charming to the outside world, but are jealous, controlling and demanding behind closed doors.
The film explores how friends can better respond to a potential crisis.
"That’s why I’m supporting this campaign: because the more we all understand about domestic violence, the more women will be able to escape it and rebuild their lives free from fear," says Alesha.
The 'Support a Friend campaign is the latest phase of the joint '1in4women' campaign, launched by Refuge and Avon last year, reflecting the statistic that one woman in every four will experience domestic violence at some point in her lifetime.
The striking animation video sets up four scenarios and asks viewers what they might consider doing in each situation to support a friend experiencing domestic violence. The animation unfolds in different, dramatic ways according to the responses given.
Would you recognise signs that suggest your partner could become abusive?
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Charming Man
Don't assume just because someone is charming that they're perfect. Often abusive men can be incredibly charming.
Inconsistency
Do you notice that he says one thing and then does another? This could be a sign of an unstable personality.
Overly Sensitive
While it's lovely to have a man who's in touch with their feelings, if your man is overly sensitive and needy this could be a warning sign.
Guilt Trips
Are you often made to feel guilty about your plans or that you have done something wrong?
Values
Take notes of their value system. Do his moral beliefs and basic instincts chime with yours?
Attention
Are you the 'only' object of his affections. It's healthy for people to have other friends and interests outside of the relationship
Intense Flattery
Don't let his compliments divert your attention from excessive manipulation or emotional blackmail.
Early Declarations Of Love
Early proclamations of love can be a sign of unhealthy intensity - and could be a way to emotionally blackmail you further down the line.
Waitresses
Look out for how your date treats people around him, such as waitresses.
This will demonstrate if he really respects other people - or is putting on an act.
Friends
How does he get on with your friends? If he's keen to be involved in your friendship group, rather than preferring to keep you to himself, that's a really positive sign.
Macho Man
He doesn't have to look like a thug to control you emotionally. Remember that being charming and sensitive, is a far easier route to emotional blackmail.
Aggressive Language
Does his talk about others in an overly aggressive way - or even directly to their face?
Clothes
Does he tell you what to wear? Perhaps suggesting the reason he doesn't want you to wear a short skirt is that it makes 'him' insecure.
Parents
How do his parents get on? Sometimes (although not always!) we learn about being in a relationship from our parents.
Making Plans
Do you end up changing your plans often. Perhaps 'nights out with the girls' end up with ... 'But I'm going to miss you so much?'
Behaviours
If you start behaving out of character, is it because you don't feel comfortable about yourself any more?
Defensive
Do you find talking about your relationship awkward and feel the need to defend your partner in conversation?
Ending It
Have you tried 'and failed' to end it? Often when a woman tries to leave an abusive relationship the problems escalate and his reaction is disproportionate. "You can't do this to me" is a common refrain.
Empty promises
Has he promised to be less demanding, spend more time with your friends, not be so jealous of your time - and then failed to change?
Hypocrite
Do you constantly find yourself questioning his 'double standards'.
Lying
Do lie to your friends about the details of your relationship - or choose not to tell them thing he does, because they might 'misintepret it'?
In a statement, Sandra Horley, CEO of Refuge, says: "Domestic violence is an insidious crime which affects women from all walks of life.
"Given that one woman in four will experience domestic violence at some point in her lifetime, it's likely that we all know someone who is experiencing it - whether it be a sister, daughter, friend, colleague or neighbour. Domestic violence has devastating consequences - supporting a friend could save her life."
Tweet #1in4women to support this video today and perhaps save a friend's life.
Would this video help you to help a friend? Tell us, below.
If the key to reducing cases of abuse in the home is to get people talking about the problem, then an interactive video quiz, supported by singer Alesha Dixon, should certainly help.
The animation,...
If the key to reducing cases of abuse in the home is to get people talking about the problem, then an interactive video quiz, supported by singer Alesha Dixon, should certainly help.
The animation,...
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Since its release just over two weeks ago, much has been said and written about Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg's new book, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will To Lead. I am not one of Sheryl's haters, in fact, having had the opportunity to witness her speak on a number of occasions while we both worked at Google, I can testify that she is a truly inspirational woman. However, I feel that her story only represents one type of woman, the successful woman in business who also has children.
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I had read the quotes and looked at the statistics, but it wasn't until I started speaking to victims of domestic abuse and listened to heartbreaking tales of control and fear that I began to see a different picture.
It wasn't a particularly vicious assault, but last week I accidently, and forcefully, whacked my cheekbone with my own tennis racquet and, as a consequence, turned my blue eye black.
Trying hard to convince a young woman (20) to get out of an emotionally abusive relationship right now. It is not long before there is physical abuse (if it hasn't already happened). I have helped woman leave their abusive husbands in the past, so I know what I'm doing. I also know this has to be her choice. Still, I'm so aggravated that her family/friends are willing to let her "make her own mistakes" when EVERYONE sees the danger she is in (even she admits it). When your friend or family is in that situation, it IS your business. Speaking up, reporting, etc., is not interference; it's love.
I appreciate this article so very much. I wish I could send it to her, but he pawned her computer & is in control of her phone. Please say a prayer she gathers the courage to leave him.
Catholic_Woman: Trying hard to convince a young woman (20) to get
I was in an abuse relationship. To the outside world he was mr life and soul of the party. For a year none of my frineds and family knew what was going on. It started off with name calling. Then would tell me I was going to go off with an ex boyfriend and was jealous about all my male friends. Even went mad one night as a guy tried to add me to facebook..who I didn't even know! My family and friends would know we had fallen out but not what was said and done. It got to the point where he punched walls, bent my fingers back, smashed up my things. Alcohol was usually involved but not always. Obviously we split and I moved out, I'm a pretty strong character, financially indepentant etc. I'm actually in Canada now, single and having a whale of a time. But I do understand how women almost 'put up' with abuse, as when he was nice. He was the nicest, funniest, loveliest guy I have even dated. But when he was angry, I actually thought one day he would kill me if I stayed. So ladies if this sounds familar, I would say get help and get out if you can. Being single is not the end of the world and if anything it is quite liberating. You should never feel like the place you live isn't safe and your walking on eggshells, its a horrible way to live.
lisa15nov: I was in an abuse relationship. To the outside world
There is a stereotype of abusers which is far from the truth . Many are charming popular people whom no-one would believe they could hit a partner that it is obvious they " adore " At first it is rather nice to feel a partner is " protective " of you , cares about what you wear and where you are . Gradually you realise that they are in fact trying to control what you wear where you go etc . There comes a time when nothing you do is right .... even when you do what they have " suggested" the day before . My ex never actually beat me .. it was much more subtle ... bending fingers as you say . We could be in company and he could have his arm round me ( appearing caring ) but bending my fingers behind my back so no-one could see. If I looked untidy when he came home .. we did have three children so I often wasn';t dressed up ... he would call me names but if I did get dressed up I was accused of seeing men . He ground me down and then left me for a woman who was all that I could have been ! Many people including my children were surprised at how I changed .
Makalha: There is a stereotype of abusers which is far from
Your better than that and him. I often think people who accuse you of cheating are the ones who will cheat on you so be warned! I did get back with this guy after we split about 6 months later. He had councilling and did seem better in himself. But it didn't last a month he soon went back to his old ways. Accussed me of fancying my sisters boyfriend in the day...slept with someone that night. He told me a few days later, he said he was sorry, he wasn't interested in her deleted her number, it was a huge mistake. Wanted to work it out with me. That was the final straw we were no more. He is now with this girl and contacts me telling me how unhappy he is. Even though on facebook I occassionally see when she likes a mutual friends things, they are all happy and smiles. People like him will never be happy. And I am soo much happier without him for sure!!
lisa15nov: Your better than that and him. I often think people
i support this cause totally but the troublr with it is a lot of women in this situation will not help themselves .i have reported neighbours to the police due to the boyfreind hitting the woman but when the police arrived she claimed nothing had happened .this thug then started to abuse another neighbour blaming her for reporting him so i told him it was me for which the woman involved started to abuse me and my family saying he han never hit her ,through her false frount teeth that had accidentally been knocked out.
bullybeef: i support this cause totally but the troublr with it
It is wonderful that you want to help your neighbour and it must be very confusing when your help is rejected. Your neighbour's self esteem will be at an all time low, her abuser may have told her that if she leaves she will not have access to her children, that she might be hunted down and killed etc.. She stays because she is too frightened to leave and/or she loves him deeply and lives in hope that things will change. Abusers are often charming and attentive when they are not abusing, they will promise change after every incident and they will isolate their victims from family and friends. They are also very clever at twisting things so the abused is made to feel they 'made' the abuser act in such a way. If you want to help, perhaps after an incident, visit her when her abuser is out and provide her with details of a local domestic abuse helpline. Tell her that the support is available when she's ready.
acrocket: It is wonderful that you want to help your neighbour
Posted: 14/11/2012 10:25 GMT | Updated: 14/11/2012 11:06 GMT