There now follows a public service announcement for the benefit of the good people of Tunbridge Wells. Do take care when you're out and about - particularly if you're walking in the woods just outside the historic town centre. The reason? Bigfoot's on the prowl.
Well, that's according to one terrified walker who says he spotted "an 8ft-tall beast with demonic red eyes and long arms" during a recent ramble.
Think it's just a one-off sighting that could have been the result of a vivid imagination or one too many beers? Think again! The past six months have seen a number of reports of a mysterious beast in the area, according to the Daily Mail.
And apparently, stories of the "Kentish Apeman" date back to 1942, when an elderly couple fled in terror after they saw a shuffling ape-like creature with red eyes.
Some nay-sayers suggest that the most recent sighting could perhaps have been a prankster in fancy dress. Yeah, possibly. But that seems a bit far-fetched, doesn't it? It's far more likely to have been a mysterious, dagger-eyed beast.
Frankly, it's probably best to be on your guard wherever you are in the country. These dangerous animals and marvellous monsters can pop up anywhere. Talking of which, they never did catch that Essex lion, did they?
paul bassett davies
Ellie Del Rey