He's ridiculously popular, completely loaded and wants to show you the time of your life. But would dating a Gatsby be dreamy or leave you in total despair? Violet Hudson discusses
Even if you'd never heard of Jay Gatsby before seeing pictures of a rather dapper Leo DiCaprio promoting the forthcoming film, chances are you want to date him.
Gatsby... Jay Gatsby. No man (with the possible exception of James Bond) has captured the popular imagination to such an extent. He is, simply, perfect. Whether you see him as Robert Redford, or Leo, or a man of your own delicious imagining, he is of course wildly handsome.
Then there's the enormous house, the lavish parties, the endless money – and the mysterious past. What more could a girl need? Every one of my friends secretly wants to date a Gatsby, and who can blame them?
But let's just step back a minute and imagine what it would really, truly be like to be going out with a modern day Jay. Ok, so he's still got the gorgeous good looks and the oodles of money - those are par for the course. But they also mean that every girl this side of Timbuktoo has clocked him as well.
One day he'll be taking you out to supper and whispering sweet nothings in your ear; the next, he could be papped snogging Paris Hilton or LiLo. He has two million blonde, honey-coloured LA babes following him on Twitter and you just KNOW they're all out to get him.
And if it's you he chooses, they'll form a pack and hunt you down. Look at what happens to every girl Harry Styles has ever met (and he's basically just a child) - international hostility from an army of angry, jealous women. You'll be in more than one burn book.
Then he'd be restless all the time. Always hopping onto his jet to go gambling (he's probably a tax exile) and spending thousands on champagne when all you really want is a quiet weekend to relax, just the two of you, in the Lake District.
Holidays would always have to be lavish, with big groups of friends – although, suspiciously, he doesn't really have any close mates. All his parties would be bigger and better than anyone else's and you'd have to constantly look your best in case he whisked you off to a polo match. And, with a silk shirt collection like his, the dry-cleaning bills would be more than the GDP of a small country.
Then there's his lack of commitment. Every time he goes away, you're worried he's being unfaithful. Even when he's at home, he's staring across the bay, muttering about some annoying ex called Daisy (what's that about, anyway?!).
When he pays you attention, you feel like the only girl in the world. But when he doesn't – which is most of the time – you get pouty and sulky, and it always ends in a row.
There's no settling down here: the drama escalates with every argument until you're screaming at each other in a thunderstorm and hurling drinks into one another's faces. And the relationship wouldn't just fizzle out. Oh no. There'd be some heartbreaking, melodramatic ending which would ruin your life for ever.
So, actually, it would be a nightmare. Sure, there'd be moments of fun: but would it be worth chucking in your weekly Chinese takeaway and Game of Thrones sessions for fleeting glimpses of glittery, brittle pleasure? There's no room for comfort when you're with a Gatsby: it's all too glamorous for that.
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