It's an uncomfortable pairing, the pencil skirt and fishnet. While one seeks to be demure, the other goes "peekaboo, hiya!" In short, it's the style equivalent of an oxymoron.
So, Rihanna's fishnet pencil skirt for a jaunt to Sopot beach in Poland was met with a heavy sigh because 1) in terms of style, this is K$sha territory and 2) oh how I long for 'Pon De Replay' era Rihanna.
Do you remember it? When she was the coolest girl in pop? Completely not bothered, in her jeans and trainers and still looking super hot. And what about 'SOS'? Minxy video, seriously minxy song. Pre-2012 Rihanna was the best act in music who genuinely threatened to overtake Beyonce when it came to that age old question of, "who's your favourite singer?"
The trouble with Rihanna circa 2013 is you worry about her because her wardrobe's gone mental.
You see her wearing nothing but a cardigan for Chanel's Couture Week show, and you think, "oh God, I hope she's alright. Quick, someone give her a t-shirt".
It's a universal truth that people who are alright tend to wear more than just a cardi and laugh in the face of fishnet pencil skirts. They say assume someone's pulling their leg. What a brass neck! they think, while reaching for some tights.
I miss the Rihanna of old, who bounded on stage to collect her Brit in 2011, who looked super happy and who you wanted to be best friends with.
You too? Okay, let's recap on why RiRi of old was so damn cool.
1. Pon De Replay. So frickin' awesome - she made the DJ turn the music up THROUGH DANCE. Can you do that? Me neither. Also, this was back before crop tops were in again. What a trailblazer.
2. Only Girl In The World. Christ, that red hair was bold. Here's RiRi saying she wants total adoration while dancing about in a hill. This song alone reclaimed the dance floor for girls who wanted to sing along all over the UK while being the antidote to all those singles male artists release about shagging all over the shop. Also, check out the flowers in her hair - she's ahead of the curve again.
3. What My Name? So, everyone's losing their shit over Drake in 2010 and then he does this song with Rihanna and she totally steals the show. Ha! Also, her chiffon hair bow is extraordinary.
Come back RiRi of old, you were the best,