Forget Glastonbury the next big festival on the calendar is Benicassim. And while the last of the Glasto-goers are still pulling themselves together and returning back to work in dribs and drabs, the Beni crew are psyching themselves up for a week of partying in the sun. YOLO!
They're pretty easy to spot, mainly because they're radiating utter joy at the thought of ditching their desk for the beach and replacing watery instant coffee from the half-broken office machine with *puts on Spanish accent* sangria, but in case you need a helping hand here's a few telltale signs...
1. They keep asking whether you've heard the new track from [insert name of obscure Euro-pop, electronica, techno band here], because it's ALL about the small stage acts.
2. "Do you think a two-man tent will fit in my hand luggage?" seems a reasonable question to them.
3. They've got a Spanish dictionary on their desk and keep answering your questions with "qué".
4. They've a newfound penchant for using upside down punctuation marks in ALL their emails and you don't understand ¿why?
5. "What's your ALL TIME favourite song by The Killers?" or "Which of the Arctic Monkey would you have round for tea?" have become their go-to conversation starters.
6. They've taken a shine to sombreros and insist on wearing one in the office.
7. They spent their last two lunchbreaks getting a spray tan because nothing could be worse than standing next to a Spaniard when you're as pale as a ghost.
8. You hear them singing 212 by Azealia Banks in the toilet cubicle. They don't even like Azealia Banks.
9. They've told you about the NIGHTMARE they had when they thought their passport was out of date, at least 28 times.
10. They've bought a floral headband. And they're not being ironic.
11. They're convinced they're going to befriend Daisy Lowe.
12. They're off carbs because Benicassim is not just a festival it's a holiday too (it's a holi-val, ariba!) and they want to be beach ready in a flash.
13. When they ask you about Glastonbury they do *air quotes* round the festival's name. For no reason.
14. They roll their eyes when tickets to your domestic festival arrive.
15. They keep Beni dropping in general conversation... "What are you having for lunch?" asks a non Becinicassim-goer. "Look at the bum bag I bought for Benicassim," they reply.
Pssst! How do I know all this? Because I'm going.