Halloween in Britain used to mean apple-bobbing and poorly homemade costumes. Not any more.

  • 1
    Trick or treating
    Getty
    Adults! Want to be endlessly annoyed in your own home and forced to buy 'candy' (whatever that is!)? Kids! Want to behave like a horrible brat and have your teeth ruined?!
  • 2
    We now feel inferior about our pumpkin-carving skills
    Getty
    Left: A typical British pumpkin. Right: A typical American one.
  • 3
    Endless bloody teenage horror movies
    MGM
    Including remakes. Yes, yes, we know what you did last summer: you watched a Halloween movie.
  • 4
    All our scary masks are now American
    Largely as a result of 3. above.
  • 5
    Non-Halloween-related costumes are now acceptable
    spirithalloween.com/buycostumes.com
    British Halloween party costumes used to be limited to vampires, witches, devils, cats, that sort of thing. But now? Now, you can come dressed as any old Tom, Dick or Harry... Spongebob or Borat.
  • 6
    Sexy Halloween costumes are now acceptable
    As if getting dressed up as a witch/mummy wasn't pressure enough. Now you have to look like a SEXY witch/mummy.
  • 7
    Non-related sexy Halloween costumes are now acceptable
    Because nothing says 'Halloween' like Mickey Mouse or a carrot.
  • 8
    Halloween costumes for pets
    Does this dog look happy to you? No. (Possibly because it's not a sexy pumpkin outfit.)
  • 9
    We now feel obliged to spend money...
    ...on tat we will never, ever use again. Not even next Halloween.
  • 10
    ...and enjoy organised fun
    Shutterstock
    The British idea of hell. But hey - at least hell is Halloween-themed, right?

Also on HuffPost:

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  • "Sexy" Burt & Ernie Costumes

    On second thought, maybe they <em>should</em> cut funding to PBS.

  • "Ring Toss" Costume

    The hat that says "Winner gets a free ride" is pretty much the worst.

  • The Nip Slip

    Is it still a "slip" if you do it on purpose?

  • Condom Dispenser

    At least he's promoting safe sex.

  • Female Inflatable Doll

    Yeah... This could get awkward.

  • Walking Sex

    Now you can make people uncomfortable all night long.

  • "Anna Rexia" Costume

    Because eating disorders are meant to be portrayed as sexy and hilarious, right?

  • Just A Penis

    Word to the wise: make sure you take your penis costume for a trial run at the local library before hitting the sidewalk.

  • Giant Boob

    At least he knows what he is.

  • Google Boobs

    Feeling lucky?

  • Middle Finger

    Facial expression not included.

  • "Anita Sedative" Costume

    When you're wearing a sexy costume to a Halloween party, it's probably a good idea to stay away from sedatives and not bring your own restraints.

  • "Happy Morning" Costume

    It's not surprising that this one's on clearance for $7.99.

  • Pussy Magnet

    We sort of feel like this guy wasn't looking for cats.

  • Holy Sh*t

    Don't worry, there are more dirty puns where that came from.

  • Free Mammograms

    As long as there's no copay.

  • Mangina

    If you wear this, it's the closest you'll come to seeing one that night.

  • Naked Grandmother

    Why is the blacked-out tooth part of it?

  • "The Shocker" Costume

    Make sure you include the hand gestures so you get the point across that you're a complete douche.

  • Tampax

    Ladies?

  • Heartbreak Clown Thong

    Dressing up as a heartbroken clown has never been ... sexier?

  • Sexy American Indian

    Pocahantas didn't even dress this sexy.

  • "Dept. Of Erections" Costume

    For a con, he looks pretty pleased with himself.

  • "Beastiality" Costume

    No more beer for this guy.

  • Poop

    Looking like sh*t has never been so cute.

  • Banana Flasher

    Of all the costumes that scream "I have a penis!" this has got to be the most frightening.

  • "Droopers" Costume

    Would you take a shot with this guy?

  • "Sperm Man" Costume

    We don't even want to know what his superpowers are.

  • The 69

    For those mischief-makers who enjoy holding plastic props to their bodies all night long.

  • A Knight To Remember

    EEEEWWWWWW.

  • ???

    Just in case you wanted to dress up as "WTF" this Halloween.

  • The "Biggest Show On Earth"

    Nothing says class like wearing a circus tent on your crotch. (Thanks for the tip, Karen!)

  • "Country Lovin"

    The commercial version is so much more disturbing than the homemade version.

  • Used Pad Man

    Steady blood flow, meet steady alcohol flow.

  • Trash Can Baby

    He has low self-esteem.

  • Birthing Woman

    Now your roommates know why you've been practicing your birth face in the mirror for so long.

  • Franzia

    Wine in a box continues its tradition of being the least romantic thing ever.

  • Hung Like A Horse

    Real subtle.

  • Vibrator

    Dild'oh!

  • Toilet Time

    These guys must really, really love each other.

  • Penis Man

    In case anyone was wondering why Spencer's Gifts was sold out of mock penises this year.

  • Sexy Etch-A-Sketch

    We feel like this is going to end in some shaking accidents later in the night.

  • The Human Centipede

    Halloween couldn't be complete this year without a good old-fashioned Human Centipede costume.

  • Vagina Dentata

    A feminist twist on the ubiquitous vagina-head costume worn by frat boys everywhere.

  • Unkempt Lifeguard?

    WHY?

  • "Zombie Fetus" Costume

    When you decide to pull off an extremely creepy costume, it's best to let your attitude match it. Yeah, it's a dead baby but she's cool with it.

  • Beer Dispensing Boobs

    Let's see the St. Pauly Girl do this.

  • "Rub Me" Genie

    More like Alad-<em>don't</em>.

  • Hitler?!

    We've seen homemade Hitler costumes before (which are also ridiculous) but this commercial version just blows us away.

  • Snake Charmer

    Sometimes, knocking over every beer in front of you is a necessary sacrifice for the perfect sexual innuendo costume.

  • Furries??

    We're not quite sure what these are...but we have a feeling they're NSFW.