Most women, when they do the dumping, tend to opt for bland yet inoffensive explanations such as "I'm not the right place at the moment" or "I'd like us to be friends".

One woman's decision to be brutally honest about why she was dumping 30-year-old comedian and actor Patrick Moote - "Your penis is too small" - resulted in him making a documentary about penis size.

UnHung Hero is a documentary or 'cockumentary' as Moote calls it, where he tries to go around the world to find out how other cultures view penis size and asks his ex-girlfriends about whether it mattered when they were together.

There are some rather shocked-looking people on the street who are asked for their opinion, and a fairly hairy moment when he visits a group of men for options to make his penis bigger and is confronted with a scary needle containing the fluid that will 'pump' it up.

patrick moote

"Who's going to be with me after this documentary airs?" Moote wails, but beneath the wry, funny look at penis size is a real question waiting to be answered. Some answer it predictably "People who say penis size doesn't matter don't have a big penis," says one brash man, while another lady tries to explain: "It's like opening a gift and sometimes you have to pretend that the gift is amazing, when it isn't."

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Moote was dumped by his girlfriend in a rather spectacular way. He proposed to her on a Jumbotron at a UCLA basketball game and the video of her walking off went viral. Offscreen, she then told him - among other reasons - that she couldn't marry him because his penis just didn't do it for her.

In an interview with the New York Post, he said: "When we started the film, the point I wanted to prove was not only does size not matter, but also that I don’t have a particularly small penis. I think that we really saw an opportunity to answer a question that I think was bothering a lot of guys and I think it was really bothering me."

patrick moote

He also says that men should take comfort in the fact that there is no such thing as an average standard or measurement. "When you’re measuring an erection, there’s an average for it, but there’s no set number. If you put on 10 pounds it’s gonna take off a centimeter. If you’re not having a particularly good day with circulation, it’s going to affect it. If you’re feeling stressed out or your heat doesn’t work in your apartment, it’s going to affect how large it is."

Ultimately, the documentary is a damn funny watch and it aims to tackle (no pun intended) one of the biggest causes of angst for modern men: penis size.

What did Moote learn from it all? "I don’t feel like I have a really small penis, I just know it’s not a particularly impressive or special penis. But it’s my penis, I love it and it’s great. We hang out all the time. But I’m still insecure about it."

(H/T: New York Post)

Earlier on HuffPost:

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  • African Elephant

    The penis of the African elephant is not just the largest of any land animal -- it's also prehensile. Here's an elephant displaying his gigantic appendage at the Kruger National Park in South Africa.

  • Blue Whale

    The blue whale has the largest penis of any living organism at an average length of 8 to 10 feet. Here's the preserved, dried tip of a blue whale penis on display at the Icelandic Phallological Museum in Reykjavík, Iceland.

  • Echidna

    Echidnas are not only extraordinary for being among the last surviving monotremes (a branch of mammals that lay eggs), but also for having weird, four-headed penises. Here's the penis of a Tasmanian echidna.

  • Duck

    Here's the crazy corkscrew-shaped penis of <em>Cairina moschata</em>, also known as the Aylesbury duck, which is a breed of domesticated duck.

  • Humpback Whale

    The penis of a humpback whale is normally concealed within the animal's genital slit until it is extruded. This video shows the penis of a humpback whale near Ha'apai in the Kingdom of Tonga.

  • Southern Right Whale

    The ginormous testicles of right whales actually rival those of blue whales, and are among the largest of any animal. This video shows a rare Southern Right Whale mating group.

  • Alligator

    Alligators sport permanently erect penises, according to recent research. Here is video of a dissected alligator's penis that snaps into mating position when the pelvic nerve is tugged.

  • Hyena

    Young female hyenas produce hormones that cause the clitoris to swell, resulting in a large "psuedo-penis." Skip to 1:23 in the video for a better look.

  • Barnacle

    Relative to body size, barnacles have the longest penis of any animals. Here, a video shows the penis in action.

  • Tapir

    The tapir also has one of the highest penis-to-body size ratios. Here's a video to see the tapir penis for yourself.

  • Cat

    Mating is painful for female cats. It's not the biting that hurts -- it's the male's penis, which has over 100 tiny barbs. Here is video of how a cat's barbed penis works.

  • Crested Gecko

    The equivalent of a penis in snakes and lizards is the hemipenis, which is kept inverted within the body until needed. Here's the hemipenis of a crested gecko (<em>Rhacodactylus ciliatus</em>), which hails from southern New Caledonia, an archipelago in the Pacific Ocean.

  • Spider

    The penis of an orb-web spider detaches after sex. Here's a view of the detachable penis (left); a male without one is on the right.

  • Bruchid Beetle

    With all those violent-looking spikes, the penis of <em>Callosobruchus maculatus</em>, or Bruchid beetle, is pretty scary. Here's a close-up look.

  • Llanos Mosquitofish

    The penis of the freshwater <em>Gambusia quadruncus</em>, also known as a Llanos Mosquitofish, has four hooks with which to grab females. Here's a magnified view of the genitalia.