When Do You Tell People You're Pregnant?

29/11/2013 11:26 | Updated 22 May 2015

Quite often it can be hard to believe the news that you are actually pregnant! After peeing on about five sticks, it does start to sink in. It's cost a small fortune but you begin to realise it's true.

Apart from telling your partner the good (or surprising) news, there's the temptation to shout it from the roof tops. To tell the lady who's just sold you a newspaper.

But STOP! It might be wise to hug this special secret to yourself for a while longer.

It is sad to think about, and I hope no-one reading this will have to go through it, but sometimes pregnancies don't always work out how you plan. Occasionally they go wrong and you miscarry.

Some people think it's a good idea to tell everyone about the pregnancy from the start because if anything does go wrong you'll need support. And others will probably be able to guess you're depressed or unhappy.

The first time I got a blue line in the window of the pregnancy test, we told everyone our good news. I was eight weeks, relatives were visiting and it seemed like a good idea.

It was awful and devastating to then ring round friends and family to tell them our bad news four weeks later. In hindsight I wish we had waited so that we could deal with our grief in a more private way.

If you prefer to wait until you're past the first, riskier trimester it's probably a good idea to avoid situations which will flag up your status as expecting mum. There are some women, after noticing the non-alcoholic drink you've got, that are like a dog with a bone until you're forced to reveal your news.

During my subsequent pregnancies I always felt more comfortable announcing our news after I'd had the 16-week scan, which confirmed, albeit in a basic way, that the baby was OK.

As technology advanced, and I had my fourth and fifth children, we waited until after we had the nuchal translucency scan, at about 12 weeks, before we let everyone in on the secret. Maybe I was being overly suspicious but I felt more comfortable this way.

Of course, if you work it is rather different. According to the law, you must tell your employer 15 weeks before the beginning of the week your baby is due, which seems to be leaving it a little late.

It might be wiser to tell them once you've had a scan and before you start showing too much. They will then have more time to plan for a replacement while you're on maternity leave.

When to tell your news is a personal decision and will, obviously, vary from person to person but one thing probably remains true for everyone: the time and place should be your choice.

When did you tell everyone you were expecting? Or are you pregnant now but have still got to break the news to your boss?

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