ENTERTAINMENT

‘Made In Chelsea' New Series: 10 Things Guaranteed To Happen In The New Episode

07/04/2014 18:03 | Updated 07 April 2014
Channel4

If you still didn't know that ‘Made In Chelsea’ is back on telly tonight (7 April) then, seriously, where have you been?!

We’ve been busy preparing for the new series of ‘MIC’ by drinking champagne and getting Victoria-esque blowdrys, but now it’s time to get serious about the show’s return - by predicting what’s going to happen tonight, natch.

We love ‘MIC’ more than anyone should but, let’s be honest, the cast aren’t exactly original, are they? Nor do they learn from their mistakes - Spencer Matthews, we’re looking at you - and it’s highly likely that season 7 will see the residents of SW3 pull off some classic errors.

We’d bet our last tin of caviar on the fact there’ll be cheating, tears and plenty of awkward pauses when the show kicks off at 10pm on E4.

Here are 10 things that are basically guaranteed to happen in tonight’s ‘MIC’...

  • 1. Louise Thompson sheds a tear
    E4
    Don't get us wrong, Louise is one of our fave SW3 residents, but she loves a good cry, doesn’t she? Quite frankly, we’re surprised she’s not scored a deal with a waterproof mascara brand.
  • 2. Jamie Laing and Proudlock shout ‘boi’ at each other
    E4
    These two are incapable of having a conversation without first screaming ‘boi’ until they look as if they’re going to pass out. While it would be fantastic if they’ve managed to grow up a bit, we doubt it’s going to happen.
  • 3. A cheating allegation
    E4
    We obviously missed the memo that said cheating on your significant other is the activity-du-jour but, not to worry, the cast of ‘MIC’ have it covered. The series 7 trailer suggests Alex Mytton is going to be the guilty party this year, which is distressing to say the least.
  • 4. Andy Jordan’s nostrils will get a mention
    E4
    Andy’s nasal passages have found unexpected fame on the show and even have their own Twitter account. They’re known for getting a bit animated whenever poor Andy is feeling a stressed, annoyed, happy, or sad. So actually, they flare all the time.
  • 5. Mark Francis will only appear in fabulous settings
    E4
    It must be in Mark Francis’s contract that he’ll only film in places as beautiful as his hair - aside from that time they made him go to Camden, obvs. He’s still recovering from that dark, dark day.
  • 6. Stevie fails with the ladies
    E4
    Managing to woo someone into being his girlfriend in series 6 must have been a lucky fluke for this ‘MIC’ star. His chat-up lines are as successful as Spencer Matthew’s relationships normally and we reckon we’ll see Stevie return to (poor) form.
  • 7. A dramatic riverside walk
    E4
    Spencer Matthews is the king of awkwardly dumping women during a stroll along the Thames, but he’s not got anyone to bin off at the moment so someone else will need to step up.
  • 8. Victoria and Binky compete for the Best Hair prize
    E4
    Can someone tell us where these two get their ‘dos maintained, please?
  • 9. Spencer Matthews makes a promise he can’t keep
    E4
    While he seemed to make a breakthrough in last season’s therapy sessions, it was probably short-lived and Spenny will no doubt be back to his old tricks.
  • 10. A new character has history with one of the lads
    E4
    Have you ever noticed that none of the newcomers say: “oh, I just moved to London and need some new pals?” There are two very good reasons for this - 1. Chelsea property prices and 2. Would you try and infiltrate this group? - but wouldn’t it be nice if for once the newcomer was actually new, and not Jamie’s/Spencer’s/Andy’s ex-girlfriend?

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