I dread school sports day.
My children's primary school holds a non-competitive sports day.
No winners, no losers, definitely no drama, just hour upon hour of sweaty tedium for pupils, parents and teachers.
Every year I'm left nursing chronic sun burn and wondering: "What was the point?"
My children's school doesn't boast space enough for 400 children to run at the same time, so instead we assemble at a nearby park where there's a vast running track.
Chaos ensues for at least 45 minutes as children are organised into teams of 20 odd children of roughly the same age group, by which time they're already wilting in the heat and still haven't moved a muscle.
Just to make sure there's absolutely no danger of competition rearing its banned head, each group is sorted into the school's four house colours so reds 'compete' against reds, blues against blues.
And finally they're off – but there's no buzz of excitement.
Each raggle-taggle group trudges to a spot on the horizon and proceeds to do some half-hearted dismal 'sport'.
The 'events' include turning over the coloured cones all together and throwing a ball back and forth. The two-inch hurdles have been banned for 'elf and safety' reasons, according to middle son.
No child has the opportunity to shine individually, which seems a great pity, and every child has the opportunity to be bored senseless.
All are given a medal for 'competing'.
Surely, even children who aren't sporty would prefer an-over-in-a-few minutes race to three hours of torture?
And how does this level of inactivity tally with all the healthy eating dictates and walking to school pressure on both parents and children? There's no incentive for children to try to win because every child gets a medal for 'competing'.
Parent guide: The dos and dont's of school sports day
What do you think? What's your children's experience of school sports day?
Should school sports days be competitive or not?