I was going to address you by name, but thought better of it. I mean, I know your name, your mother knows your name and you yourself have heard it countless times too I am sure. But this letter will be made public and for now, your name is our little secret. Information kept private for the three of us. Our first family secret!
First things first; I'm your dad. That won't mean much to you right now, in your own little world where all you know is yourself and your mother's warmth - but in a few short weeks you'll realise that your protective support network is actually a duo and not just the one you are currently used to.
I'm your dad and that means three things:
1. I played a part in creating the beat of your heart;
2. I love you very much and
3. I am someone you can always turn to and rely on.
Right now though, I'm afraid I'm doing very little for you (and not out of choice). But your mummy on the other hand is working very hard.
Your mummy has been carrying you around every day for eight months. She hasn't put you down to give her body a rest once, and has never let you go. Each day she has been breathing more and more life into your tiny body and making you the best you can be for when you open your eyes to this big scary world that your mummy and daddy live in. That's a very special talent that your mummy has. It's something that women are born able to do - and me as a man, and you as you grow, can only look on in awe at that. A woman giving life and strength to a child is a greater superpower than any that's ever been written into books of fact or fiction!
We have been busy making preparations at home and to ourselves to make sure we can give you the best start in life as possible. I pray desperately that I can be the father that I know you will need and deserve to have.
It doesn't seem possible to love and care for someone this much. How can I? I haven't yet met you or physically seen you... but we've been bonding for weeks and I can't wait to hold you and tell you "I'm your Daddy".
Your mother and I will be your rock; your guiding light for those first moments and for the rest of your life. Childhood never ends in a parent's eyes and we'll always be the ones you can run to. We will wipe your tears, and smile when you do, hold you tight even when you don't want to be and help develop your dreams. You will learn that life is a wonderful thing, when you have wonderful people at your side.
I hope to guide you through life, one step at a time. I don't pretend to have all of the answers - far from it. But I have been a child, a teenager and a young adult. I have already had success, failures and made mistakes. I have learnt many a lesson, and I'm going to give you what I believe to be sound advice now whilst I know I can.
If, heaven forbid, I am not able to guide you in the future, you will always have these to look back on and know that the advice came from the heart that loves you most.
1. Listen to your mother.
Even when you think you know best, you don't! A mother only has one true goal in life - and that is to ensure that her children are happy. Her advice to you will never be wrong.
2. Do what makes you happy.
The opinions of other people count for very little so long as what you are doing is safe and morally sound. Your happiness is key. Do whatever it takes to get there.
3. You cannot change the past, but you can mould your future.
Sadly, unless science is developed beyond all that is imaginable, past events can never be changed. Nor should they be able to be. Dwelling on the past can only ever bring negativity into your life. Focus on what you can change and not on what you can't. Even the darkest of storms can produce a rainbow.
4. Never change yourself for another person.
Anyone who likes or loves you for a person that you are merely pretending to be, will never feel the same about you as the person you really are. Always be you. Someone, somewhere will love you for being you.
5. Time is more precious than even money.
Spend time wisely. Once time is gone, it isn't coming back. The memories you can create if you use your time well, will last forever and be much more rewarding.
6. Don't be afraid to be different. Stand out.
Stand firm in what you believe to be correct and don't allow yourself to be manipulated. Rebel against anything that you don't believe to be right. There's no need to be a follower. Because everyone else is doing something doesn't make it the best.
7. Politeness and chivalry are cool.
No matter what those around you are doing, saying or thinking - these two things will get you far in life.
8. Don't be afraid to fail.
Learn from your mistakes. It makes you a better person.
9. Always take the window seat.
Don't deprive someone you care about the window seat if they want it, but if the opportunity is there, never turn it down. The world is beautiful. The journey is often more important than you destination.
10. Don't Quit.
It's a hard habit to break and nothing good ever comes of quitting.
I hope that one day, you can look back on this blog. Not just the letter, but the blog as a whole. I started it with only you in mind. It's been one heck of a journey so far and I know that it's not yet even really begun. Life as your father is going to be a great adventure. I can't wait to love you more. We will learn and grow together and the memories we create will be countless. In just a few weeks you will be here, and time could not travel fast enough. We're patiently waiting... with open hearts.
I love you
Ryan is a brand new first time Dad and is on a steep learning curve to be the best dad he can be to his son.
Blogs at: Dad Creek Without a Paddle
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