Bride To Be Blog: What's In A Name?

14/08/2014 16:33 | Updated 22 May 2015

You don't want to lose your name but you want to take his. So what do you do? Bride-to-be blogger Claire Adams ponders the biggest post-wedding change...

While growing up, I wasn't really a huge fan of my surname. At school I was always the first name on the register which meant first to say yes, first to answer questions and first to get the blame.

But my main name dislike largely came from getting mercifully teased by the boys in my year through the whole of my school life.

I was nicknamed Wednesday and/or Mortica Addams and quickly became accustomed to the sounds of "du du du du - click click" whenever I walked past the giggling group in the hallway.

Life with the Adams name slowly began to improve circa 1996 when Posh Spice (AKA Victoria Adams) came on to the scene and having the "Adams" at the end of my name started to feel like not such a bad thing after all.

I supported Arsenal and Tony Adams was one of their best and actually that Christina Ricci was getting some colour in her cheeks and turning into quite a pretty girl.

Then, as I hit my late twenties and now (can't bear it) early thirties, I realised I've gradually become pretty attached to my name. It defines who I was, who I have become and I use it ALL the time.

When filling out forms, constantly at work, when I first meet people plus the combination of Claire + Adams is now a very important part of my social identity (@claireads).

As the wedding gets even closer I am thinking more and more about how soon I will be taking on a whole new me with a brand new surname and in turn its own accompanying flaws.

Wilson means the end of the register for our future kids which I actually think could be worse than the right at the top. It all just feels a bit like starting from scratch.

I was pondering this new life change out loud when a friend asked if I had considered looking at the double-barrel option and it occurred to me that it hadn't once crossed my mind.

Firstly, because I'm not very posh and I don't think you should connect two of the most common surnames in the country to create a new combination of common. Secondly because I forgot that it was even an option. However, now she has made the suggestion I am finding it a very hard one to forget.

I am one of three girls so the Adams name from my dad will over time eventually disappear. By slipping it in front of the "Wilson" and adding in a fancy hyphen I am able to retain a glimmer of my family heritage while embracing my future husband's name and at the same time transform my middle class status into a hyphenated step above.

I mentioned the idea to my dad and he loves it. He eventually got over never having boys (after taking us to lots of football matches and calling me Claude) and now this is a way for him to feel safe in the knowledge the Adams dynasty will continue furthermore.

I mentioned the idea to my fiancée and he hates it. There is no discussion or compromise as he refuses to allow anything to alter his family name and now thinks of me as a Germaine Greer type for even suggesting it. Plus if I had a double-barrel name then really he would have to change his name too. No chance.

So back to the drawing board and back to trying to figure out how I manage to save some of my Adams-ness, whilst warmly welcoming the Wilson.

LOVE THIS WRITER? Follow her on Twitter @claireads.


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