It's not often we have the chance to start an article with the following sentence: there is a woman on Etsy selling souls for £9.07. Feel free to take a moment to absorb that information.
Soul reaping entrepreneur Molly Gates set up shop after she spotted a listing "where some dude was selling his own soul in a plain, sealed mason jar for over $1,000".
But instead of following suit - and surrendering herself to eternal damnation - she decided to peddle the life essence of the rich and famous, a move which will hopefully see her sidestep the fiery gates of hell.
So how does Gates' business work? Customers log their soul requests and she endeavours to retrieve said soul while its owner is sleeping. Then she bottles it, labels it and ships it in a very timely manner to maximise freshness.
"Is your mantle bare? Perhaps you're looking for a one of a kind gift for a loved one? Do you just feel the need to own someone's soul," she asks on her seller profile.
"No matter your reasoning, I don't judge. My hobby is reaping souls, and I do it very well. I place each one in a stylish mason jar to keep it fresh and out of trouble."
Speaking to MTVshe revealed how she gets her hands on these souls. "I've perfected my reaping process over the years," she said. "Now preferring to wait until my person of interest is asleep.
"I sneak to their bed, do some hocus pocus and coax their soul out and into my waiting jar. I label each one and ship it the day following the reaping to ensure freshness."
But with only one person in the entire world blacklisted from her soul books - Kanye West, and before you ask, no she doesn't want to talk about it - whose soul would you want to own forever and always?
Whose would make the best addition to your mantlepiece? The best conversation starter? Whose has the most investment potential? Whose power would you want to harness?
We're considering placing an order for a piece of Kris Jenner, now there's a soul that's got a story to tell...
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