It's almost the Easter Bank Holiday, hurrah! Four whole days off, drinking Pimms and eating chocolate, potentially in the sunshine. Bliss.
1. You hit the train bar. As soon as you've hopped on that engine bound for the homestead, you've got one thing on your mind: gin. And wine. And cider. And so what better place to start the bank holiday than the train bar? More organised home-goers will sidestep queuing on a moving vehicle and pop to M&S for a cheeky bottle of Prosecco or Pimms-in-a-tin first. By the time you reach your mother's front door, you're merrier than Christmas.
2. You take a trip down memory lane. An epic trip to the pub with school pals is planned and it's going to be all about the good old days. You actually plan to show a little restraint - after all, you're not the same girl you used to be before moving away. You don't competitively down shots anymore, for example. You consider this intention miserably, waking up the next day wearing a bleary face of last night's makeup and both your shoes.
3. You pull a guy you went to school with. He's so nice, so happy to buy you a drink, so blissfully not on Tinder. Maybe you'll move back home, marry this guy and rear some chickens, you muse in a drowsy winey fog. Until you remember there's no Zara. Oh well.
4. You regress to 40% teenager. It's not quite as bad as Christmas, but you still loll about in your pajamas thinking irritated thoughts about your mother/sister/brother/cat.
5. You eat everything. All Easter Sunday roast. All the Easter eggs. A few of those ridiculously moreish Mini Eggs cakes. Well, something has to soak up all that alcohol, right?