Football Fans Say Relegation Is More Painful Than Childbirth

14/08/2014 17:01 | Updated 20 May 2015

Men say losing football more painful than childbirth

Childbirth is the worst pain anyone can experience, right? Wrong.

Enduring 40 hours of excruciating labour before pushing a baby through a ridiculously small opening, with the possibility of tearing in places the sun will never shine, is small fry compared to the REAL agony of....wait for it....seeing your football team get relegated. (Don't shoot me, I don't make this stuff up).

Yes, according to a specific type of man (genus: Footballus Fannus) mums have got it easy compared to supporters who see their team drop a division.

The latter is, according to new research, the male equivalent to the pain of childbirth.

Nearly two-thirds (63 per cent) of season ticket holders surveyed felt that the pain of relegation was the nearest most men would come to experiencing the pain of giving birth.

But others felt relegation was MORE painful – because it lasts longer!

The survey was conducted by the polling company TLF, on behalf of Warren United, a new animated sitcom on ITV4 about a diehard fan of a rubbish football team.

Pete May, author of the book and blog, 'Hammers in the Heart: A Lifetime of Supporting West Ham', and survivor of multiple West Ham relegations says that only a true fan understands the pain of relegation.

He said: "I remember once when we were relegated seeing this huge skinhead in tears. He was holding his head in his hands and sobbing."

Pete, of course, has never given birth himself but he has attended the birth of both his daughters, now in their teens.

He said: "I've seen childbirth twice and relegation five times', he says.

"Childbirth does look look very painful but it only lasts a few hours. The pain of relegation lasts all summer. And beyond."

What would you do/say if your partner tried to convince you relegation was more painful?

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