Game of Thrones returns to Sky Atlantic tonight. Here's 10 reasons why you have to get involved...
1. Remember when everyone was banging on about Breaking Bad and you were like a social outcast because you couldn't be bothered to sit through the bloody thing? Don't let yourself be left out again. GoT is a million times better than all of that crystal meth nonsense anyway, and it's got dragons. Did Breaking Bad have dragons?
2. What do you mean you don't like fantasy stuff? You saw Lord of the Rings but didn't really like it? Sorry, but this argument cuts no (fire and) ice. GoT is like Tolkien on weapons-grade crack. Instead of hairy-arsed hobbits and shitty magic rings, you get intense political drama, horses getting their heads chopped off, loads of brilliant gags and Peter Dinklage.
3. In fact, Dinklage is an entire reason to watch GoT on his own. His character, Tyrion Lannister, is one of the best characters in TV history, up there with Tony Soprano, Omar out of The Wire and, my personal favourite, Lou Carpenter. In the space of three series, he's gone from being a carousing lover of prostitutes to a not-so-carousing lover of a prostitute and an unsung war hero. In season four he's just doing his best to keep his head attached to his shoulders. GoT is famously unafraid to kill off its darlings, but if Tyrion gets the chop the fans' revolt will break the internet
4. The drinking game potential is endless. I'm currently developing one that involves drinking two fingers every time King Joffrey is sent to bed without any supper by Tywin, four fingers whenever Ygritte says "Jon Snow" in that whiny voice, and an entire drink each time a brother shags his sister.
5. It's got plenty of eye candy for the ladies. Exhibit A, Kit Harington...
6. And Exhibit B, Jerome (or is that Robson?)...
7. For the sake of gender balance, I should also point out that GoT has loads of bare breasts in it, which will cheer up all of those desolate Nuts readers...
8. As well as spotting Robson/Jerome you will also be able to have fun pointing out other random faces from British telly. There's the bloke who played Dennis Pennis, a few Hollyoaks actors, and, best of the lot, Diana Rigg, whose character, Lady Olenna Tyrell, is a mother-in-law even more hellish than Maggie Smith in Downton.
9. It inspires YouTube videos like this...
10. And, finally, this...
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