It's what I feel like a lot of days.
I have been getting some lovely comments from people I haven't seen in a while. I do love the comments and it almost makes it worth all the hard work.
Sometimes I wonder if people realise it that it's bloody hard work trying to lose weight. At least for me it's hard work.
I love food. I love looking at food. I like cooking food. I love smelling and touching and tasting food. No surprise then that I have issues with my weight. I'm learning new cooking and baking techniques which is helping. What I am having a more difficult time with is changing habits.
Food is everywhere. The opportunity to eat food is all around. I just popped into my high street for some veg and walked past a chip shop, a Lebanese restaurant, Pizza Express, 2 pubs serving lunch, a sandwich shop and this was just a little corner of my high street! Pop into supermarket convenience shops that appear to be sprouting everywhere and it's hell. Pastries, cakes, cookies, chocolate bars, crisps, ready meals... everywhere you look you're confronted with all these things you could eat.
It's turning me into an angry fat chick!
How do you stop yourself from picking up a snack here and a candy bar there. The willpower it takes to walk away when all you want to do it pick up that yummy looking cinnamon roll – it would be sooo yummy with a cup of coffee! I try not to look at the danger areas but that is physically impossible at my local Tesco Express. Really it is, I tried to not look and I basically had to look at my feet. Not good people. Not good at all! I'm really struggling and find that after an entire day of resisting in the end I give in and undo all my hard work.
I must keep telling myself that this is not a race. That I want to be thin more than I want that cupcake with the frosting piled a mile high. It's been Squidge's birthday week and it's killing me. Squidge has been given chocolate on an almost daily basis. Yesterday it was a pack of chocolate stars and a mini caramelo. I resisted the stars but sadly that caramelo didn't stand a chance!! STOP GIVING MY CHILD CHOCOLATE!!
Do you know what the scary bit is? I probably resist 90% of the time. This time last year? If I wanted it I wouldn't even think about it. 22 lbs later and I've worked too damn hard to undo all of it. It doesn't make it easy though and I'm an angry fat chick to prove it.
How do you folks deal with the temptation? Can you buy it and not eat it? What are some tips for resisting?
Lindy is a transplanted New Englander living in Manchester. She misses scorching hot summers and having a Dunkin' Donuts at every corner.
Blogs at: Squidgyboo