Pop star Lisa Stansfield has revealed that the death of her mum left her desperate to have children - but after failed IVF treatments, she realised she didn't want to continue trying for a baby.
Lisa, now 47, lost her mum Marion in 2006.
She told the Express that her body was desperate for a baby after her mum passed away - despite previously never having any maternal instincts.
By this stage, the singer was already in her 40s, and knowing IVF was her best chance of conceiving, headed to New York with her husband of 25 years, Ian Devaney, to undergo treatment.
"It was like my body was just crying out," she told the paper, but admitted that after four fruitless years of unsuccessful treatment, she realised she didn't actually want to be a mum at all.
"It got to the point where I was thinking, 'Do I really want this?' when I realised I'd rather stab myself than go through more of these pelvic examinations where they're treating you like an animal," she said. "And I do think that it didn't work because I finally realised I didn't want a child."
The experience left Lisa feeling that some people can be quick to judge those who decide not to have babies.
"You talk to some women who have children, normally the prudish and priggish ones, and they look at you as if you're guilty of something, as if you're being selfish," she said. " But there's no baby there - I'm not depriving a child of love."