'My Kids Suck': Disgruntled Dad Sells Neglected Trampoline

14/08/2014 17:02 | Updated 20 May 2015

craigslist dad sells trampoline

Have you ever given into your kids' begging and pleading for a new toy which they claim will be the 'best thing ever', only to stew in annoyance as it lies abandoned and unloved only a few weeks or months later?

If so, you'll have some sympathy with the author of this hilarious Craigslist ad.

A frustrated dad took to the listing website to advertise a trampoline for sale, in a listing entitled 'My Kids Suck'.


The story, as told by the unnamed dad, will be familiar to many parents: "They begged. Pleaded. Told me how they'd use it EVERY day," he recalls.


The kids even resorted to emotional blackmail: 'Since I "messed up their lives" by moving them here in middle school, I owed them at least this much. God, dad.'

So, of course, under the pressure of such intense wheedling, Dad 'caved'. At first it seemed like his generosity was appreciated, but he gradually began to realise just how quickly the novelty of the longed-for garden toy was wearing off.

"That first night they jumped. Then I watched from my window as summer turned to fall and the fall turned to winter.... Spring turned to summer and I watched even still from the window, waiting, just waiting, for someone, anyone, to use that damn trampoline even once more."

Dad said he had finally been driven to rid himself of the abandoned trampoline 'after two years of sitting in my window staring out like a creepy old neighbour', fruitlessly hoping that his ungrateful progeny would rediscover their enthusiasm for the expensive toy.

And what will he do with his newly-liberated patch of garden? He ended the advert musing over whether to use to space for 'gardenias or tomato plants or a stockade jail to house three grumpy teenagers'. We think the last option might come in handy.

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