Do I have to accept that things for me have changed drastically and am I ready for all this change? Since I had my first stroke in April 2012 everyone said that things would improve, I would feel better even though this was going to take time. It wasn't until I had my MRI scan on my brain that I realised the full extent of damage that the multiple mini strokes or TIAs had caused - it showed part of my brain has died.
Last week I had a heart operation to close a hole in my heart that I had since birth. It was only through talking to my cardiologist consultant that I realised the strokes were caused by this hole in the heart. I also realised that maybe things weren't going to get better. This was how I was going to be.
I can't walk very far as the strokes have robbed me of co-ordination and have left a significant weakness in my right side. So it has been suggested that I maybe have to think about getting a mobility scooter so I can get out and about. Also I have severe problems getting in and out the bath so it has been suggested we get a walk in shower. Mr Savvy has moved the decking as I couldn't cope with the step down to the garden. So now I just walk straight on to the decking as it is right next to the door.
I know all these changes are for my benefit but I am not ready for these changes. it's like admitting that the strokes have won. I'm not an old lady. I am a mum to a very challenging family. Is it time to finally say I can't manage and need extra help and support ?
I'm Wendy. X-box gamer, film lover, mum to 4, wife to 1 and the owner of Storm the Labrador.
Blogs at Savette