You don't have to have the wedding gene to know there are certain things you just don't say to a blushing bride.
Maybe you think you're reassuring a bride mid-melt down about place settings and bunting. You're not. At this stage she's half woman, half warrior. She's fought off over zealous mothers-in-law, been on a diet for six months and made three of her best friends agree to wear something frou-frou. Mention divorce after all her hard work, and she might punch you.
2. "Aww, is that the dress from the sample sale?"
Any down-talking about THE dress is pure Mean Girls. It should always be referred to as "breathtaking". Price is not to be mentioned. That is unless you're bridesmaid, sister or mother of the bride in which case you'll know all the details anyway and have reassured her she's made a terribly clever and stylish choice.
3. "It's ok, tiny diamonds are still beautiful"
If you're squinting at the size of the engagement ring and its modest sparkle, you're a snarky uni friend who ended up with a flash city boy. You may have more bling than the bride but today is NOT about you and yours.
4. "So he finally proposed then!"
So what if the bride-to-be has announced she's getting hitched to that douche she's been dating for ages? And so what if you don't fully approve? If she's about to walk down the aisle the lady clearly knows her own mind. Don't ruin it by acting like everyone's been counting the days.
5. "My cousin/sister/friend had that dress/floral arrangement/cake!"
Er, no she didn't. No one's ever planned anything close to what this bride is planning - that's how special it is. Even if it's a carbon copy of your best mate's do last month, hold it in.
6. "How long before you're pregnant then? Wait, don't tell me you're already pregnant?"
This kind of comment can potentially lead to friendship apocalypse, and therefore is only acceptable if it comes an elderly relative who's having a great time on the champagne at the engagement drinks. However, twin this with any commentary on weight gain and, well, don't say we didn't warn you...
Whilst we're on the matter of wedding gowns, here's a gallery that demands your full attention. you don't have to comment but guaranteed you'll gasp at their beauty: