That lovey, wovey, dovey time of the year is looming. You know, the majorly over the top commercialised-within-an-inch-of-its-life day in February. The one time to really say "I love you" - that's what the card companies say anyway. Yes, Valentine's Day is a-coming.
But guess what? There are five gifts it seems none of us ladies actually want on February 14th, according to research by the UK Gift Card & Voucher Association.
Really guys, are you kidding? Don't even go there with the whole domestic goddess thing. Buy us an iron or a hairdryer and you're out.
2. Underwear two sizes too big, or small.
If you've been together for a good stint of time (one year +) you should totally have this down already. Along with the right colourways. If it's a new thing, just don't risk it unless you're willing to do the ground work AKA ask someone in the know.
3. A card with money inside.
Nothing says "I love you" like a few actual bank notes, right? Wrong. Unimaginative and totally offensive.
4. Dying flowers from a service station.
Valentine's flowers, the perfect gesture if you seek out a little florist who will whip you up a one-off bouquet. Opt for something different - red roses are a mega cliche - and do not expect BP or Esso to having what a girl is looking for.
It's the beginning of the year, we're trying to be good (green juice detoxing ourselves into oblivion) and you show up with a supersize tray of Lindt chocolates? It's not ideal.
Valentine's Day should be happy-making, so lets not put a massive downer on it. Here's a playlist of tracks to pick you up ahead of next month...