Girl fights. They're not pretty and I found myself on the verge of one last Friday night. I was in one of those swanky West End nightclubs, the one's where rich men woo women with massive bottles of Grey Goose and let them sit in their VIP booth.
Don't ask me why I was there, it's a long drunken story, but the point is, I almost got into a handbags at dawn, hair-pulling bitch off with a girl I'd never met before.
She was peed off at me for standing too close to her table, when I didn't move she took to the dance floor and quite literally danced on me until I dropped my drink and was forced to move out of the way. I was this *pinches fingers together* to pushing her and telling her to "back the ef off", but decided to leave it out.
I bumped into her later in the toilet where she gave me the most evil of evil eyes in the mirror. The thing is this wasn't an isolated event, I've seen bitch fights happen time and time again and, without coming over all Carrie Bradshaw, I got to thinking why do girls hate on each other in the club and how can a night-ruining cat fight be avoided? Here's what I've come up with...
1. Give each other some space
The key to getting on with other gals, or anyone else for that matter, is to give each other enough space to groove. If someone's a little up in your grill then ask them politely to shuffle up, don't start elbowing. When was the last time you resolved an issue with your funny bone?
2. Don't take too long in the loo
You know how it is, you put off going to the toilet for as long as possible because a) you're too busy shacking out and b) you know the queue will be mega long. Avoid getting in rows with angry loo girls by making it a quick wee, oh and don't hog the mirror. Let's be courteous. Just because Miley goes around bathrooms acting like this (see gif) doesn't mean we should.
3. Know the rules of the bar
Getting served at the bar is a pain in the bum at the best of times, so play nice and stick to the rules. They're pretty simple, and in fact there's only one. Wait your turn, or you may find yourself with a wet face.
4. Sharing is caring
There's no better way to make an instant friend than by giving 'em a much needed spritz of perfume, stick of gum or even a tampon. Potential club enemies can be turned around in an instant if you're willing to offer up your last Hubba Bubba - it's the basic rule of nightclub sisterhood and works every single time.