Over the weekend I made some toffee for the girls.
This may sound like a simple and rather uneventful task but it turned out to be quite the opposite, let me explain.
When my mum passed away I knew that out of everything she owned, her treasured box of recipes full of memories, her writing and food that she made for us was the only thing I really wanted.
My mum was a wonderful family cook and baker, I have so many memories of making biscuits and cakes with her when I was about my daughter's age and she always made fantastic party food for all my themed birthday parties.
At this time of year we always seemed to make toffee. I'm not sure why as it isn't even strictly a bonfire toffee or anything, but nevertheless I remember it being passed around in a tupperware between gloved hands while we all watched the fireworks in awe.
Having some spare time on Saturday afternoon I thought I'd find the recipe in her index cards and make some. It is a super, simple recipe and one that I'll share with you at the end of the post.
While I was waiting for the toffee to cool and set I remembered that mum had also emailed me another toffee recipe so I headed up to the computer and logged on my email account. After a few minutes of searching I managed to find it, along with all the other emails she'd sent me in the months and weeks before she died.
I just wasn't prepared for the emotion that hit me like a ton of bricks and I sat staring at my computer screen in floods of tears. She wrote in such a conversational tone, similar to the way I blog really, and it just felt like she was talking to me again.
I was overwhelmed with how much I really miss her; for the mum she was to me and the grandmother she hardly even got to be to my youngest. It hurts how much we are all missing out on now that she is no longer here. If I'm honest, I struggled keeping it together for the rest of the day and was sent up to have a bath and relax by the mr while he took care of the girls.
I had some time to reflect on my mum and the way she parented me. My dad says that whenever he sees me with the girls he just sees my mum and me so vividly. The way I play with the girls and talk to them is apparently just the way my mum was with me. This makes me happy and sad in equal measures. Happy, as if I can be half as good a mummy as mine was I'd be so proud, and sad that her role of grandmother was taken away. All I can do is be the best mummy that I can be and weave my mum into our lives where ever I can.
I'm sorry if you've just landed on my blog for a toffee recipe and instead were faced with rather an emotional post! So without any more waffling here it is:
Super simple toffee
115g Granulated Sugar
115g Golden syrup
115g Margarine / butter
1 large tin of sweetened condensed milk
Boil all together for 20 minutes in a thick saucepan, stirring all the time
To see if it is ready to set do the cold water test. Drop a tiny amount into a glass of cold water and if it solidifies in the water then it is ready.
Pour into a greased tin and leave until cold and then crack
Store in an airtight tin or jar
Let me know if you give it a try or have any questions.
Morgana is a wife and mummy in her [late] twenties who loves to blog about family life, style, food and everything in between! Before she started blogging she was a qualified social worker and worked with a leading children's charity as a parenting practitioner.
Blogs at: But why mummy why