Ahhh motherhood. It is a beautiful thing, truly. Being a mother has made me the best version of myself I have ever been. Not physically of course. I am tubby, covered in stretch marks and the eye bags are out of control; yet in my heart and soul I have grown beyond all measure to a better person.
Having my son is, bar none, the best thing to ever happen to me.
So it comes with some upset when you discover, as a mother, that often the worst part of being a mother – is all the other mothers.
You know the ones I mean don't you?
The ones who helpfully tell you how to do it right.
The ones who helpfully highlight to you all your flaws.
The ones on social media who shout out their judgement over the mothers who do something they would never do.
Because they are perfect no?
Actually, no.
Last week I was on Twitter and saw a conversation between a blogger I have liked for some time and another I had not seen before.
The latter made the comment
"I'm not being horrible but leaving a child in nappies till 3 is wrong. Unless they're ill for some reason".
Don't you love it when people start a statement with "I'm not being horrible" or "I'm not being mean".
Actually let me stop you right there, because what you should write is "I'm about to be a massive bitch".
You've guessed it, my son is three and still in nappies. Until recently I have been working five days a week and this left little time to enforce potty training. I never wanted anyone else to do it. And actually we have tried a couple of times and my little man has been upset by it and resistant.
So there!
Obviously this mother has a perfect child, probably been walking since the age of two months and plays Mozart on the piano beautifully.
Dream on.
For the child potty trained at 18 months, who is probably still drinking out of a bottle at two years old.
For every child speaking in sentences by two, who still sleeps only two hours at a time.
This is the reality of parenting.
My son is not perfect. He has a temper. He still wears nappies. But he can tell you what a dodecahedron is.
So I want to say here, throughout this post I am writing filled with a quiet rage, be VERY careful about voicing a strong opinion about parenthood on any form of social media or your blog.
This is where people will cry "It's just my opinion" or "I'm entitled to my opinion".
Of course you are.
I have MANY parenting opinions and I share these with my husband who might giggle or gasp at me.
But I do not go onto a social media account and preach to my 3800+ Twitter followers that they are terrible parents because they do something with their child I would not do.
I have a personal philosophy recently coined by myself in the midst of the anger I have felt recently, both at comments that have hit close to home for me, but actually for some other mummies I love too. There is a fine line between having an opinion and just being a dick.
So I think it is in everyone's best interests to stop before they post a blog or comment on a social media site and think:
"Does this make me a dick?"
And if the answer is yes, then perhaps do not hit publish.
Unless you are quite happy being a dick, then by all means do it.
But may I suggest you look at your child and consider – how would I feel if someone judged one of the things my child doesn't do? Or judges one of the practices I use as a parent?
The answer? It would make you feel like utter shit.
So think of that, mothers, because people in glass houses should definitely not be throwing any stones.
And, I am sick of saying this, we are all in this together.
Where is the f***ing sisterhood?
This article is republished with kind permission from the blog The Adventures of a Potty Mouthed Mummy. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook too.
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