PARENTS

8 Tales From The Frontline Of Motherhood

13/07/2015 09:39 BST | Updated 13/07/2015 09:59 BST

Things change when you become a mum.

This is so obvious you may think it goes without saying, but no matter how prepared you are for this inevitability, the reality of daily life with kids can sometimes feel a little overwhelming and it can be heartening to know other mums have gone through the same thing.

So we've rifled through some of the most popular blogs written by mums on HuffPost UK and have gathered together quotes that encapsulate some of the ways life changes when you become a mum:

mum surprise baby

1. Going "out out" has to be planned with military precision.

"Preparation is key," writes Emma Conway in her blog Twelve Signs You Are Going Out Out - Mum Style.

"You have learnt from previous mistakes that you need to ensure your other half is available for baby sitting duty not only for the night. But for the following 24 hours. As hangovers post 30 last four times as long.

"If this is not possible you decide to only have a 'few drinks'. Which is forgotten exactly one hour into your precious, and rare, evening of fun."

2. How you handle a crying baby becomes a hotly debated topic.

In her blog My Husband Ignored My Cries , Lottie Daley imagined how a woman's Facebook friends would react if her husband tried out the "controlloed crying" technique on an adult.

"Sophie: My husband left me alone crying until I threw up.

"Jess: But I bet you can now self soothe!

"Sophie: I'm too scared to make a noise next time....

"Sam: It's bedtime Sophie. You have to learn to self settle, otherwise you will be too dependant on him and that's not acceptable. You will never learn to be a cold and detached adult if he gives in and cuddles you. Sorry but its best for everyone."

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3. All the plans you carefully laid before your children were born go out the window when they arrive.

"I honestly thought that the reason that women ended up breastfeeding their baby was either because they chose to...or not," writes Victoria Young in The One Thing I Really Wish I'd Known About Breastfeeding.

"Despite reading all the many books that well meaning friends cared to throw at me, I remained utterly oblivious to the fact that determination, desire and doggedness alone are not always enough to make breastfeeding happen."

When Young's son was born she says her breasts "failed to provide enough milk" and she was advised to feed her son formula.

"I fervently wish that I had done just that, and wasted no time in making up a delicious, life-giving bottle of formula for my baby," she writes.

"Unfortunately, I was so adamantly fixated and certain about the kind of mother I wanted to be - and that breast milk was the only way to give my son the best start in life - that it clouded my judgment.

"And herein lies the problem with reading - and believing - books about how birth, pregnancy and motherhood 'should' be: when things do not - inevitably - turn out as they should, you realise too late not only that you have not made any provision for plan B (I didn't even have any baby bottles in the house). But, more importantly, when things do not turn out as they 'should' it is all too easy to feel inadequate and guilty."

4. You may need to embrace a new perspective.

"Babies who do not sleep get a bad press. We tend to refer to infants who sleep a lot as 'good babies', while those of a more wakeful disposition we often label as 'hard work', writes Emily-Jane Clark in her blog How Not To Punch People When You Have A Baby Who Does Not Sleep.

"I say we change that.

"No more counting the days until our little ones Sleep Through The Night. No more crying into our coffee because we have been up since...last week.

"Instead, let's put on our best pyjamas and cherish every last tiring, wonderful, draining, glorious, frustrating, challenging, waking hour we spend with our exhausting, little angels.

"Bad sleepers are the new 'good' babies. Spread the word."

mum friends

5. You may also need to remind yourself that appearances can be deceiving.

"We've all been there, admiring the mum who in our eyes seems to have everything under control," writes Olivia Siegl in her blog The No B***S*** Advice All New Mums Should Know.

"The mum who despite having three children hanging off every limb seems to have it all together and is coping.

"However, do you ever stop to think that she is looking at you and thinking exactly the same?

"Or that, that very same mum spent the whole of last night pacing the hallway with a crying newborn and the whole of this morning crying in the car after dropping her kids off at school?

"Nothing in motherhood is as it seems and we are all at times guilty of saying or looking like everything is fine when all we really want to do is scream a tirade of abuse at the universe, cry uncontrollably and then drown our sorrows in a vat of wine.

"I am here to lay the myth of the Supermum to bed. None of us are "supermums" with it all under control in our picture perfect lives.

"We are in fact battling through every day and doing the damn best we can, which in turn makes us instead, pretty super!"

mum surprised baby

6. You will find a whole new set of things to needless obsess over, such as...

"The IQ Quandary: At some point you will think your child is a genius - but at another you'll worry he could have developmental delay. Neither is likely to be true," writes Siobhan Freegard in her blog The Only 10 Tips You Need to Be a Great Parent - That No Parenting Expert Will Ever Share.

7. Mummy friends are the best - (the same is also true of daddy friends).

What is a "Mummy Friend"? You may well ask.

Well in her blog Mummy Friends: Ten Reasons You Need Them Claire Kirby offers the following definition: "Friends you have met since becoming a Mummy who are also Mummies themselves."

And to give you just a taste of why they are so great reason number 10 is:

"When it's been a day full of tears and tantrums, (and not just the small people) Mummy Friends understand, and they always have cake. The really good ones always have wine."

supermum

8. Thinking you have to be 'Perfect Mum' or else you become 'Bad Mum' is not helpful.

"Not wanting to do crafts, never emptying the dishwasher and live tweeting my two-year-old's tantrums does not make me a Bad Mum," writes Kirsty Smith in her blog Why Both Bad Mum and Perfect Mum Can F*** Off.

"It makes me a mum. Just a mum, standing in front of a load of other mums and asking them to love me.

"Or not. Whatevs."

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