Hello my little children. So I've already blogged on The Huffington Post about how kids shouldn't worry if they haven't got the grades they wanted in the latest round of exams, that there are other ways to go forward with your life and how to be just the best you can be, regardless of those pesky bits of paper.
But I neglected to tell you people that there's one thing that really gets my horned goat in this grand scheme of things. REALITY TV! Please, don't get your head turned in an Exorcist style and think it's the way to fame and fortune, kiddies!
Believe me. I might be a rock star, all glitter, fake blood, make-up and theatrics (with awesome rock anthems of course) but you've no idea the hard graft and craft that's gone into my career.
The problem is with wanting to be a reality TV star, you're only famous for a little while. You can't live on that fame forever. That's one of the major problems with the whole schtick.
Want an example? I pick up a magazine and it says 'Brenda is leaving Tom' and I go, "who's Brenda?! Who's Tom?!" If it's Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, I go "ohh!" if it's Angie and Brad I go "wow!". If it's Claudia and Herman, I go... "I don't care! I hope they do break up! I don't even know them and I hope they break up!" Like, why should I care about these losers? I hate them more because they haven't earned the right of being famous!
How are people becoming stars by being idiots on TV? Why do we praise these idiots? If they were GREAT idiots on TV, if they were John Cleese-type of wonderful, crafted idiots, Fawlty Towers-style idiots, then you'd go, that's brilliant. But when they're just stupid, and you make them stars for being stupid?! It just makes me wonder what on earth the world is coming to?! It's like settling for fast food rather than gourmet food. You know, "I would rather watch these idiots in a house rather than go see a Shakespearean play!". We keep settling for stupid!
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When it comes to music reality TV however - because let's face it, if you're prepared to get on a stage and sing live in front of thousands, if not millions of people, you must be some kind of genius - the only thing I have against X Factor and American Idol and things like that is that they just keep putting out the same person. They keep putting out these cookie-cutters that can go, "oh yeah, I can sing Barry Manilow!" Well, how about you write your own song?
If Mick Jagger, Iggy Pop, David Bowie or myself were auditioning for American Idol, we wouldn't get past the first audition, because that's not what they're looking for. They're looking for the next guy that 10 years from now, is going to be a singer on a cruise ship. Y'know, "Here's one from Burt Bacharach. Remember me, I was on American Idol? Finished third!" That's really what their career is going to be, because there is no creativity in it.
I can find 20 people in the street that can sing - it doesn't mean they're potential stars. American Idol and X Factor should start getting kids on that get on that stage with an image they've thought of, that write their own songs, then make them sell it to you and make you believe it - then that's a star.
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I've made nearly 30 albums in my career, I know what I'm talking about. You have to remember when I came out, at the same time as Elton, Bowie etc, record companies looked at your career, they didn't care about one record, they cared about the next 20 records. Sure, they were interested in selling records and being in control of your career to make loads of money, but they let you do the music. They just left you alone with that - not demanding cookie-cutter garbage!
Whereas now you're lucky to get a record contract. If you do get a record contract, unless they tell you exactly which cookie-cutter tracks to record, the most records you're going to sell is 15,000 because technology has killed the record business. It was a different time for me. Now, I tell young bands don't depend on your record sales. You're going to have to be the best live band around - that's what's going get you somewhere. If Paul McCartney came out right now with the best record of all time, it would never get played. That's crazy. Nowadays, people don't care about quality, they care about what's next, what's going to sell, not what's good.
Guys like the Stones and us, we know we're making records now for our fans. We're not trying to break new ground. If we do, great. But we've crafted a career beforehand. If 10,000 15-year-olds like my new record and they become Alice Cooper fans, great. But I know when I made Welcome 2 My Nightmare, 16-year-old kids don't even know about Part One. But the fans know about Part One and they go, wow, is this one gonna connect up with that album? Is this album going to be an extension of that album? Is it going to be a new Nightmare? Those are the people I'm making albums for and I try and cater to the lunatic fringe that happens to be my audience. But I've worked 40 years for that audience.
If you are my audience, thanks. If you're not, I hope I've warned you off the reality TV route and convinced you again to strike out down your own path and kick the cookie-cutters to the CURB.
As ever, good luck my kiddies!
Alice Cooper's Halloween Night of Fear III Tour hits the UK October 24-November 1. Tickets - http://www.livenation.co.uk. The album Welcome 2 My Nightmare is out now.
Follow Alice Cooper on Twitter: www.twitter.com/realalicecooper
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On another note (pardon the pun) you do have to feel for the Contestants who are mearly fodder for the next load of cash for the likes of Simon Cowell etc. Once these youngsters have gone past their use they are chucked on the scrap heap. I wonder where they will be in the next Ten Years?
Me? Im hoping I will still be hosting live Music Events in my Pub. www.HogandHosper.co.uk
It's not exactly encouraging creativity or the need for the kids to think for themselves. It's making them think that all they need to do is look pretty and sing like a musical clone.
If their intention was to churn out conforming clap trap, then well done, they succeeded.
Maybe the reality TV shows would be more entertaining if they were made to do Bungee Rock Climbing. See how far up the mountain they can climb before the elastic pings them back into the house. Now THAT would be worth watching.
What Alice Cooper has written is right all we are being fed is commercialized pop there has been no singer on that show yet that has ever got me to sit back and go wow what a singer they just all sound the same. Back in the 70,s 80,s and early 90,s we had some talent around even the singers and groups I did not like were good but now all this is gone
Only one way to describe this guy BLOODY AWESOME.
Tony Deluca gothic limousines.
You've hit it bang on and I hope some of them will see this and read and maybe learn a little from an old school hand.
Peace up. Jimmy J.
It's sad that real talent is being ignored by the powers who could promote it. In addition to your advice about playing live, I would suggest that they also post their work on Youtube etc. and build a following online.
It's also sad that, as you say, people who can sing well think that's all there is to it. They don't understand that stardom comes from leading, not following. From being creative, not cloning someone who already was. From being relentlessly determined and being shameless at self-promotion. And from sticking with the process due to a passion for what the performer is doing, not just the ephemeral desire for fame, which is a by-product and not the end itself.
I love your work, am glad that you are still around doing it, and hope you continue for decades more!
P.S. I wish you would perform more songs from the Special Forces album - one of my favorites!
Appearances on Arthur Godfrey's Talent Scouts launched the national careers of Tony Bennett, Patsy Cline, Jimmy Rogers, Rosemary Clooney and Connie Francis. Gladys Knight and Ann-Margret had their debuts on Ted Mack's Amateur Hour. The most famous of all was Frank Sinatra. Other stars were discovered through performing in local variety and talent shows. Let's not forget that U2 got their start winning a talent show in Limerick.
Here in the UK, an appearance on Opportunity Knocks launched Mary Hopkins' career and Showaddywaddy were discovered on New Faces. They may not be as famous as others, but they've both been around for nearly 40 years.
The difference between the 40s, 50s, 60s and today, as I see it - televised talent shows used to be the preserve of the geniunely talented.
Alice, your blog got me to thinking. You worked very hard, to be sure, but you got your records played on the radio before you were signed to a label. The Alice Cooper band was discovered in a club. It reminds me that back in the 60s, 70s and 80s, radio was less formulaic and DJs like Rodney Bingenheimer and Charlie Gillett regularly played demos on their shows. How often these days do acts get discovered in clubs or pubs? What is the modern-day equivalent of the 2i's Coffee Bar or Max's Kansas City or The Matrix?
You've given musicians good advice. You might want to stress to them that we, your fans, really do like black leather, whips, long hair and spooky stuff. And they don't have to be Ph.D's to do it.
I'm with you on this
you know what it comes down to $$$$. Ever Ryan Seachest said these shows are cheap to make, so networks make a lot of $$$. There will always be weak minded people watching these shows and fame hungry people to "act" in them.....Rock on Alice!