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Catherine Balavage

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Is Feminism Still Worth It?

Posted: 05/05/2012 00:00

Recently I came across an article that women still do more housework than men , so I started asking my friends if they did more housework than their men. The answer was yes. My experience is the same. Yet when it comes to money I split everything down the middle with my boyfriend, and so do my friends. We pay for half of everything, we work just as hard and yet we still do the housework. This may seem insignificant but it is a signal of bigger things.

So what did feminism do for women? Well, a lot, but not enough. It is hard to believe that we couldn't vote, that abortion was illegal and that martial rape was only made illegal in 1993. I could never be a housewife (not there is anything wrong with women who are. My mother was a housewife, and she was brilliant at it) but sometimes I feel like feminism, like any political movement, made things a little difficult for women.

There is the famous quote that feminism lasted a nanosecond but the backlash lasted 40 years. Now we have to work, have kids, keep house, stay thin and groomed and a million other things all at once. We pay for half of everything and still do everything we did before feminism. We just upped our workload.

Whilst having a debate about Feminism on Facebook a friend commented that she hated feminism because it made things harder for women and gave men an excuse not to be chivalrous and give up their seats for women. It got me thinking about whether or not feminism was a good thing for women. Now, the easy answer is yes, but is it strictly true?

I interviewed the amazing and talented Kira Cochrane from the Guardian about her new book Women of the Revolution: Forty Years of Feminism and she had this to say about chivalry:

"I'm pretty happy to see the back of chivalry, because it was based on the idea of women being the weaker sex. That doesn't mean I want doors slammed in my face by the man who's walking in front of me - just that whoever reaches the door first will hold it open, whether it's me or him. In an equal society, I think men and women should treat each other equally well. (Also, I'm happy to go Dutch. I think when one partner pays for everything from the start of a relationship, unless there's a really good reason, that sets up a pretty dodgy power dynamic.)"

However chivalry actually isn't about women being the weaker sex. It is about a bond between Knights and had nothing to do with women at all. Later on it became about good manners. This is what this site says Chivalry means:

1. The sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms.
2. The rules and customs of medieval knighthood.
3. The medieval system or institution of knighthood.
4. A group of knights.
5. Gallant warriors or gentlemen: fair ladies and noble chivalry.

Her point is spot on. Also a women will never have freedom in a relationship if she is with a man who pays for everything. For a women to have freedom she must have a job and her own money.

Some men do tend to use feminism as a weapon against women. I have heard the line "you wanted equality and you got it" more times than I care to acknowledge, even for the most stupid things. But the great men I know describe themselves as feminists.

My other point on feminism is the sexualisation of today's pop stars. Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Pixie Lott, Jessie J: all of these pop stars frequently are seen just in pants and a bra. I asked Kira what she thought of this and this is what she said.

I really don't like the way that women in the public eye, in their twenties, are criticised for being 'bad role models' for other women in their twenties. It just seems another stick to beat women with. I personally think that women should wear exactly what they like - so long as it IS what they like, that they're following their own desires and enjoying themselves. I think if they're doing that, they set a great example."

Again, her point is spot on. Rihanna owns her sexuality and you feel that singing in her underwear is her choice, but it is not women in their twenties I am worried about. I am in my twenties and I am old enough to make my own fashion choices. Rihanna really isn't going to make me go out just in my pants. It is younger women I worry about. Where are all of the male stars singing in their underwear? A women's body shouldn't be a commodity and some of these stars do not look comfortable. If it is their choice, fine, but these music videos and performances always make me uncomfortable as all I see is a women's body being exploited.

What do you think?

 

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Recently I came across an article that women still do more housework than men , so I started asking my friends if they did more housework than their men. The answer was yes. My experience is the same.
Recently I came across an article that women still do more housework than men , so I started asking my friends if they did more housework than their men. The answer was yes. My experience is the same.
 
 
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02:59 AM on 05/14/2012
I'm perfectly okay with traditional male-female dynamics such as chivalry, as long as chivalry does not exist in a vacuum. That is, as long as she's also okay with other traditional gender roles.
11:36 AM on 05/08/2012
I guess, as a guy, I may be on dodgy ground but it does seem somehow that much of the striving for appearance, clothing, body shape I see in a fair number of the females in my life is driven by other females. Who are the editors of the fashion mags and slimming mags - are they all men? I asked my friends about this whole dieting thing and most seemed to feel they were happy with their partners as they were and seemed bemused by the pressure that their partners are under - where does it arise, who sets these standards? It can't all be Page 3, can it? Or is it the celeb culture?
ThinkCreeps
Seriously, it's time.
05:19 AM on 05/08/2012
I don't know, dearie. I wouldn't worry your pretty....
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09:39 PM on 05/07/2012
If your boyfriend isn't contributing to fully to the household, and it is important to you that he does, maybe you need to find a new boyfriend. If you don't care about it one way or the other, then you should not expect him to care either. More to the point: You should have an understanding of what your expectations are as far as household chores, finances, etc. are before you move in together or get married. Otherwise ending up with an equal partnership, one way or the other, is going to be pretty much a fluke.
08:39 PM on 05/07/2012
"So what did feminism do for women?"

The quick answer: they went to work for pin money, lay down their dusters and hoovers, on time off they procreate, lie on the couch and drink lager and lambrini, lose all respect for themselves and amass stones of weight to their delicate frames through eating fast food while watching JK.
06:40 PM on 05/07/2012
As a 56 year old woman, I can tell you that I've heard this discussion a thousand times. It's always a bit different, yet the same. No, I don't want to compete with a man, can't throw bricks further than he can. No, I don't want my husband to wear an apron and dust the house like I might... What I do want is respect, the same choices, a voice, a vote, the same considerations from my employer, bank, doctor, mechanic etc. Simple to ask for, not so simple to achieve.
06:26 PM on 05/07/2012
What I'd like to understand is how the quoted study was performed. I know there is a lot of anecdotal evidence and testimony, but is there empirical data from actual observation?

Reason I ask is that, IME, women can ignore what actually is done by there male spouses. And if this study was done based solely on testimony, then the results will be skewed. And sure, he may not wash the floors but does he mow the lawn? Is that counted?

It would also be interesting to see what similar results would be from homosexual unions. Does one partner carry the burden?
05:13 PM on 05/07/2012
I am assuming the author is college aged at best. I'd suggest at least taking an introductory gender studies course or perhaps reading some peer reviewed essays on the subject before attempting to write about something as complex as the North American feminist movement, ESPECIALLY if we're going to start getting into "choice" and what some may consider a feminist choice. It's cute that HuffPo lets you write for them and everything, but this makes you look somewhat foolish.
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Maria Korovessis Sewell
To decimate is to reduce by one tenth.
04:45 PM on 05/08/2012
F&F'd. What next? "How's the civil rights movement working for you and your wardrobe?"
08:08 PM on 05/06/2012
I think that's 'marital' not 'martial' :)
ThinkCreeps
Seriously, it's time.
05:19 AM on 05/08/2012
Depends on the marriage.
10:24 PM on 05/05/2012
You completely ignored the other definition of chivalry ‘courteous behaviour, especially that of a man towards women’ (OED 2011) chivalry stopped being about knightly virtue long ago and become about gentlemanly behaviour.
While hardly scientific I have watched three panel shows on television this year which spoke about the issue and all found the same result; that large portions of women still expect men to pick up the check for dinner, to hold the door open and essentially be chivalrous. While at the same time putting forth the arguments that woman need complete equality, they seem not to be bothered by the hypocrisy of the argument, and when pointed out they seem unbothered by it.
Chivalry was a product of the society we lived in, it changes as our society changes, those men who treat women as equals should not hold to outdated chivalrous habits, or they should apply them to men and women, to do any less would be unfair and sexist.

As to the second point about pop stars wearing very little, this has more to do with making money than feminism, if they can make more money wearing very little they will, it’s why so few unattractive singers make large sums of money, people want to see pretty.
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Cynthia Dudley
05:50 PM on 05/07/2012
There is a difference between what we expect in a personal relationship with someone that we know and have created certain boundaries with and what we expect in a societal relationship. In society, everyone needs the benefit of equality backed up with a decent level of civil behaviour. In a personal relationship we require that each participant is within the boundaries agreed upon.
03:02 AM on 05/14/2012
Why are men the only ones expected to show "civil behavior?" Why shouldn't women have equal expectations and responsibilities? Isn't that the entire basis of feminism?
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02:14 PM on 05/05/2012
It depends on the housework. As a guy, I don't do housework, have maid service once a week and am sloppy and eat TV dinners or out. I have rarely met a woman that likes to live like this and so since she want's it a different way-her way-then it stands to reason that she can do whatever it is she wants to keep the house the way she wants to.

On jobs, the term housewife only applies to upper middle class and the rich. All other women always worked throughout history-wether that be tending stock, in the fields, as maids, what have you. The majority of women have always worked and contributed more than just the household chores. The myth of women not working is simply not true. What has happened is the class that stayed at home is now working or divorcing and getting half the money and living large on that.
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Cynthia Dudley
05:53 PM on 05/07/2012
And the majority of women who have always worked are getting better benefits, starting to receive more equitable pay and have access to jobs that have traditionally been reserved to men.
12:17 PM on 05/05/2012
I personally think we should stay away from as much reverse discrimination as possible.
09:33 AM on 05/05/2012
So what did feminism do for women?
----------------------------------
The idea to raise consciousness so that women do things themselves to extend their rights. If you want to be a domestic sucker, that is your choice and it means you are no feminist int the sense of having the consciousnesses of equality. Maybe you are a feminist in name only.
JManson
My rights trump your fears
08:20 AM on 05/05/2012
Wait a minute. Men are never exploited? Only women have the exclusive monopoly on exploitation? if I had a nickel for every working class man who was overworked and underpaid, I'd be a millionaire. Men are assumed to be beasts of burden every day while "feminists" only seem interested in sitting in air conditioned offices.
The day I see women flocking to construction sites along with men is the day I will believe that feminists really want equality, and not just when it's air-conditioned.
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queenoferne
04:59 PM on 05/05/2012
So true. Men have shorter lives than women. It might be due to bad lifestyle choices but equally it may be due to the stress of carrying more of the financial burden than women.
06:13 PM on 05/05/2012
Can I take your quote to the bank and say because I'm female I should be allowed to pay less money for my house and bills Queenoferne. That purely because my reproductive system is wholly internal I can claim less financial repsonsibility? I'd be laughed out of there.

The days of men soldiering the financial burden are long gone, if they ever truely existed because like today if you were struggling it doesn't matter who brought the money in as long as it came in whether that be from industry or piece work.
JManson
My rights trump your fears
09:31 PM on 05/05/2012
Men do the hardest jobs that "feminists" refuse to do. Men build, repair, and provide the infrastructure of society. How funny it is that women can only be "equal" when a society is focused on credit-leveraged consumerism and emptied of manufacturing. Feminists don't build anything. They only consume. They expect men to build everything for them.
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Laura Cress
02:43 PM on 05/07/2012
Perhaps the reason is more to do with factors such as being brought up to think that only men are really suited to take on these roles - you never ever see women builders on tv (well maybe changing rooms perhaps but they're not the stereotypical scaffolding type). And do you really think if a woman did go to a construction site to work, she would get treated equally? I think I'd worry about making mistakes in that line of job, because more often than not if you did, people would see it as being because you're a woman, rather than because you've had an off day or just made a simple mistake. Not the kind of reasons I can see women wanting to flock to that kind of work for (although, naturally a minority do and do well out of it).
01:25 AM on 05/08/2012
Woman are treateded better with labour roles, unfortunately it is rare for a woman to handle that sort of work. I'm sure some can, but most cannot.