Every mother dreads to hear their child being called 'spoiled'. A spoiled child implies that you are a bad parent, that you do not know how to raise your child well, that you have no boundaries; and generally you treat the child in anyway that is easy for you.
A spoiled child is a child who has been given way too much, whether it would be attention or love, because they have been overindulged by their parents, the result is a child that expects to get what they want, when they want it.
A spoiled child isn't a bad child, let's get that point across clearly. Just when you leave food for too long in the fridge, it spoils, when you give a child too much of what it wants, they will spoil.
As a parent you would go to the moon and back to make your children happy, but it's not by giving them everything that they want. Children no know limits yet, so as long as you can give it to them, they will keep wanting and wanting and wanting. We must learn to make boundaries and to say no when needed, so that they also catch on and as they are growing in life they adopt this attitude.
I'm learning as a mother that children are very perceptive and catch onto things quickly; so if they have noticed that if they cry and you run to their aid, and you do that every single time; they will know to do it for you to attend to them, and they may begin to believe that's what they need to do in order to get what they want. Children are learning new things each and every day and it is our responsibility as their parents to teach them the right thing; even if they may not like it!
It's hard to hear someone call your child spoiled and the worst part about it is that a lot of us become in denial - on the other hand everyone has their different perception on what counts as a spoiled child; we as the parents know best-- but it also isn't good to condone such behaviour because they will then think it is acceptable, when it is indeed not!
Being a parent in general is a learning process everyday-- we want the best for our children, we want them to be happy, to be loved and to generally be taken care of well but there are different ways of expressing all of this without being too overindulgent.
If you find your child is a little spoiled, it is not the end of the world, and it doesn't mean they are bad, there are just certain things that need to be cut down-- and really, it will benefit them most as they are growing so they aren't given a false perception of life.
They will not always get attention, they may not be able to always get what they want, and that is ok! Once they have learned this basic principle, there are no problems.
Our children are a reflection of us; what they see is what they also do-- so we need to make sure we are doing the right thing.