11 Reasons Why Mayonnaise Is The Food Of The Devil

Send to the condiment graveyard.

06/03/2017 11:02

Now we like to think of ourselves as tolerant human beings, but this mayonnaise thing has officially gone too far.

Back in the day when the creamy waste-of-space was resigned to the back of the fridge we could accept it, but now people are opening mayonnaise cafes in Japan, and it is time to put our foot down.

Here are 11 reasons why mayonnaise is truly the worst condiment in existence. 

1. It is made of raw eggs and oil.

Trying to give you greasy food poisoning right from the off. 

2. It demands everyone call it mayo. 

Like, who does it think it is?

3. It looks totally NSFW when you serve it.

Sorry grandma.

4. It looks so suspicious when you spill it on your crotch.

Yes we are all judging you. 

5. It is listed on Wikipedia as a ‘stable emulsion’.

Er, no thank you. 

6. It gets a yellow crust when you leave it on your plate too long. 

We don’t need that kind of pressure. 

7. It has a weird smell about it. 

The smell of disappointment.

8. It sneaks itself into sandwiches all the time.

Without announcing itself.

9. And into our hamburgers.

Just leave our meat alone.

10. It is packed with non-tasty calories.

Just saying you could be having more bread.

11. It makes everyone forget about the joy of ketchup and mustard.

The condiment family doesn’t need you mayonnaise.

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