Leaving teenage/20-something kids at home alone while you jet off on holiday requires a lot of trust.
For Katie and Robbie’s parents, that trust had slowly diminished to the point where they felt compelled to write an essay of dos and don’ts for the pair.
The hilarious handover notes, which begin “I love u both very much but lets face it you’s are arseholes!”, were attached to the family fridge with strict instructions of what not to do while they were away.
The parents warned the siblings against trying to outdo each other in the “who can f*** up category”.
They also left personalised notes for each sibling, warning them against getting into trouble with the police and annoying the neighbours - among other things.
Robbie, who is from Chryston, Lanarkshire, took a photo of the hilarious notes and shared them on Twitter with the caption: “When yer maw n da are going on holiday n have trust issues.”
Unsurprisingly, his tweet was shared more than 6,000 times and had over 12,000 favourites within a few days of being posted on 16 July.
The full letter reads:
I love you both very much but lets face it you’s are arseholes! I know you both like to try and outdo each other in the ‘who can fuck up the most category’ so please DON’T feel the need to express yourself’s when I’m gone. BAD things happen.
I DONT want another letter from the council reg anti-social behaviour or a visit from Police Scotlands finest. If you go out please come back! Granny Mo does not want to report you missing in action.
Remember the dog. Yes, dogs need to be fed every day just like you. You are the responsible one (hard to believe). Look after Robbie because lets face it the boy’s half daft and can barely tie his shoelaces. Life can be difficult for him.
Remember you have a job you need to go every day (mon-fri). Please inform your squad that our log cabin is not a drug den or a 24 hour bar. Please also refrain from drinking the place dry and I know you are all growing boys but please don’t eat the entire contents of the fridge in 1 night. Plants and ornaments stay in the garden and believe it or not our neighbours don’t like it when one of your amigos drive up and down the street on their shitty wee dirt bike. I have left money for essentials i.e. bread and milk not DRUGS, GLENS, MAD DUG HOOKERS AND DOMINOES!
If you run out of food phone Granny Mo. She will no doubt bring you a bag of M+S’ finest cause she thinks you’s are sweet and angelic. For anything major phone Granda Sean as Granny Mo will panic. Nobody else in the family nearby likes you’s anyway so no need to contact anyone else.
So remember. Kerry, Wull and wee Lewy deserve a holiday free from stress and worry. If you do anything to ruin it you will both face my eternal wrath. AGAIN LOVE YOU BOTH.
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