LIFESTYLE

Woman Pens Terribly British Letter To Man Who Sent Her A D*** Pic

10/10 for politeness

26/10/2016 12:05 | Updated 26 October 2016

It’s hard to know what to do when a man sends an unwanted dick pic to your phone.

While most social media sites and dating apps allow you to report a user, some people prefer to delete the photo and try to forget it ever happened while others will simple show the picture to friends and laugh.

Of course, if none of those options float your boat, you could do what Sarah-Louise Jordan did and be terribly British about it.

She wrote him a terribly polite letter

“I found a surprising picture in my messages,” the 28-year-old said. “So, I did the only English thing there was to do – I wrote them a letter.”

The letter, which she posted to Facebook in June, has recently started to go viral. 

Here is the letter:

“Dear Sir,

“Thank you for the unexpected and unsolicited submission of your penis portrait for our consideration. We regret to inform you that it has failed to pass our most basic standards of quality control at this time.

“However, for a nominal fee we can offer you a report that will help you change that.

“The A4 report, provided via postal service, will include a personalised booklet that covers the following:

“Why genitals are not an acceptable conversation opener (a step by step guide to saying hello).

“How to appear as though you weren’t raised by wolves.

“Better ways to deal with your sexual frustration.

“How to dress your penis for social media (a rough guide to pants).

“Penis reading: a new form of palmistry that may help you unlock the key to your future.”

Sarah-Louise Jordan 

The letter continued:

“We will also answer questions you might have such as:

“Do I have too much time on my hands?

“Why did my penis fail basic standards of quality control?

“(Note: the number one reason for this occurring is that it is attached to a bigger dick than itself.)

“Finally, as a gesture of goodwill we intend to offer two free samples with all of your future penis portrait submissions:

“An inventive critique of your pride and joy.

“And a surprise consultation with your closest available family member about your portfolio.

“We trust this exciting offer is acceptable and look forward to working with you in the near future.

“Yours faithfully.”

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