THE BLOG

My Transgender Transition: The Beginning

28/03/2014 17:47 GMT | Updated 28/05/2014 10:59 BST

My name is Jayden Ray Billington, up until 24 February 2014, I was known as Charlea Louise Billington, a daughter to my mother and father and a sister to my two siblings. I decided after a nearly 24 year battle that it was time to come out and openly be who I am.

I had spent many years of my life not quite knowing why I felt the way I did, I believed I had something wrong with me. I felt extremely uncomfortable using female changing rooms and toilets and felt myself become jealous of the boys who would play football on lunch breaks and tell the girls 'It's just the boys playing'.

At the age of nine I decided to shave my hair and wear tracksuits and trainers to try and feel less feminine and more comfortable, the results of this was becoming the subject of the classes humour with comments like 'he/she'. As a result of these insults, I made myself look 'girlie' to try fit in and avoid the bullying.

I then went on to speak with a doctor around the age of 13/14. The doctor told me that it was just a phase which will pass and I was offered no help towards understanding how I felt. Until recently I had not spoken about this subject again, due to previous encounters I did not believe I would understand why I felt how I did and why my body did not feel like it was me, a boy.

I was in doubt in believing that who I was would ever become present in my life, so I embraced my female body and dressed to the part. In doing so I believe this would stop anyone from identifying how I felt and guess that I was a man, this way of living carried on until just two months ago. It was then that I finally told my family and people on my Facebook that I am a Transgender Male, and I was beginning my transition from female to male.

I have seen a doctor since then who was very supportive towards this issue, they referred me to see a gender specialist in London very soon. Coming out as transgender has been one of the most surreal, amazing and hardest things I have ever had to face in my life, but the outcome and the life to follow will be worth the pain I endure now. I feel I finally have the faith, strength and the power to start this journey and become Jayden, along with the support of my loved ones to keep me stronger.

I know that this is not going to be an easy journey for me to take part in, but it is what I want to do and what I believe will make me feel comfortable with my body. I am willing to endure the hardships along the way whilst doing what is within my power to help show support towards the transgender community and help other develop better understanding on this subject.