When my Children first started school, I came across parents who were describing other children who were diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) as just naughty and that their parents were using ADHD as an excuse for bad behaviour.
I heard things like.....
"Oh that kid is on Ritalin, his mum makes out he has ADHD but he's just naughty"
Firstly - Do people understand how hard it is to get professionals to listen to you about your child's 'behaviours'?
And Secondly - Nobody should judge ANY child no matter who they are.
We really don't have the energy to jump through all these hoops, form filling, meetings, appointments with clinicians tearing through your medical history, putting children through assessments just because we cannot be arsed to parent properly.
These appointments aren't just being offered to anyone who believes their child has ADHD because they are badly behaved.
They are like gold dust. There needs to be a set of evidence to even get through the door, and then most places have a triage nurse that will call you who decides your child's fate. Most of us fight tooth and nail for our children and often the strength needed to fight the systems leaves us exhausted resulting in our own poor health.
Trust me we aren't going to put our families through that just because our children are naughty.
ADHD isn't a behavioural problem. Yes, it is associated with bad behaviour but this condition is proven to be neurological. Children aren't behaving this way on purpose, because they are parented badly
They simply cannot help it.
And trust me I wish my child didn't suffer with ADHD. I wish I didn't need to worry about her and her sibling's safety at every single minute of the day. I wish I could leave the house with all of my children and enjoy long walks, or be able to go and do a food shop with them in tow.
Do you know what else I would also love to do? Be able to take my child into the school playground to pick my other children up, instead of sitting in a designated disabled car parking space, waiting for my 9 year old to finish school and walk to the car so that we are all safe.
I wish that it were parenting that causes my child to behave this way because then at least I could change my parenting but I simply cannot change my child's brain.
People need to stop turning their noses up at ADHD and start educating themselves on the real facts. They need to start respecting these children for who they are. Respecting their parents for the fight that they fought for their children and the way they navigated a system that is like driving whilst blindfolded and handcuffed, because that's how the system makes us feel.
I can almost guarantee that I am not the only one who doesn't offer the information that my child is diagnosed with ADHD.
I bet I'm not the only one who doesn't offer the information because it is such a taboo subject.
People simply need to understand, so that more families like mine aren't being judged for not parenting appropriately, my child doesn't run away from me into roads because she's ignorant and disrespectful, she has impulses that she cannot control.
Not that she won't control.
Please be ADHD aware. For the Full version of this blog post click here - http://autismwithlotsofloveandaffection.blogspot.co.uk/2016/12/the-adhd-taboo.html
Please respect these children and parents, please help me and families like mine to teach our children instead of being judgmental and chastising, It isn't fair. If you have questions about our children we would be more than happy to answer them. At least give us a chance to defend ourselves instead of giving others the idea that is simply wrong and misleading.
Lets all be there for each other instead of alienating people because you don't understand.
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