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Jody Brettkelly

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My Name Is Tallulah

Posted: 30/01/2012 22:05

Reports that Demi Moore was hospitalised for inhaling "whip its" (nitrous oxide) for fun made my heart sink. In fact, I'm mad at her. Not that I'm bothered by what she inhales. I'm mad because she's in the news again. And because both our daughters are called Tallulah.

When we named our daughter Tallulah nearly 11 years ago, we wanted a name that was unusual but not dodgy. "Make sure you name her something where she can be Prime Minister" said one friend. "Make sure it doesn't sound like someone who's working the pole" said another. At the time the newspapers were full of the just-released CIA file on Tallulah Bankhead. (What a dame!)

We were vaguely aware that Demi and Bruce had a daughter called Tallulah, now 17, but they seemed to be spending a low key life in Hailey, Idaho. Both their careers seemed on the ebb. Turns out, Demi actually made make seven films over the ensuing years but none of them rang any bells and after seeing Charlie's Angels the critics fixated on how she must have spent a lot of time whitening her teeth.

I don't wish her any ill. She's not a bad actress, or not as bad as some would like to think. In About Last Night, she shone as a fabulously sexy girlfriend who had a funny friend. Ghosts: kind of the same but older. Indecent Proposal: just sexy. Okay but what about A Few Good Men? She was stalwart and didn't get her kit off, which is considered good enough acting in some circles.

I felt sorry that her relationship with Ashton didn't work out (mind you, reports say it was an open relationship and she consoled herself in the arms of a 25-year-old.) I don't care that she's had an estimated $220,000 worth of plastic surgery.

It's just that I thought she was in Hailey, Idaho for the duration and it was safe to call our daughter the same name as her daughter. Now she's everywhere and bouncing Angie off the magazine covers with her sad eyes and gaunt everything. Soon her daughter will be on those same covers.

All we need now is for one of the Teen Moms to call their daughter Tallulah. In a Social Security Administration report, last year Maci (Teen Mom MTV) was the top trending name while Bentley (her son) was No.1 for boys.

Any new or comeback-celebrity threatening to infringe on your name?