Enrique Iglesias has a message for the world: "Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines video was so 2013."
The Mediterranean hunk just released a new single called I'm A Freak. The clip is a short film about that time Enrique went to Pitbull's house for a pool party. Have a look:
If you can't watch it, allow me to summarise: Enrique casually leans on one woman's nearly naked bottom, while another woman grinds hers into his right ear. He buries his handsome face in the crevice of the first woman's arse. The camera pans across a room filled with women in bikinis, lacy lingerie, and see-through underwear. The men are fully clothed. There's approximately 45 semi-naked ladies per man in attendance.
Everyone's drinking, twerking, and grinding. Women lick whipped cream off each other, fight over freshly unwrapped lingerie, bend each other over, spank each other, lather their bodies in soap, take tequila showers, simulate standing sex with Pitbull, get naked, bump and grind.
It's just your standard pop music clip. Because this is where we're at now, in a post-Robin Thicke world.
Before we continue, I've got some questions for Señor Iglesias:
1. This looks like a college frat party with a median age of 20. At 38 years old, what are you doing there? Are you a mature aged student at an institution of learning, or simply a middle-aged man in a sea of naked lady-butts?
2. The event's dress code is "nearly naked". So why are you, Pitbull and the male DJ fully clothed?
3. A number of the party's attendees use the female buttocks in place of a drum. Did you run out of money for instruments?
4. Are you aware that, even for sun protection purposes, you don't need to wear a cap inside at night time?
5. Given that you obviously like butts a lot, can we call you Enrique IglasiARSE from now on?
Look, it's not really a surprise the clip is so raunchy. Consider some of the lyrics:
I tried to let it go,
But I'm addicted to your chemicals
I got a feast, I want an overdose
I love the way she gets so physical
Fucks like an animal
But let's rewind 13 years. It's 2001 and Enrique Iglesias had his first #1 hit in Australia, with an epic ballad called Hero.
In this clip, Iglesias is a criminal with a heart of gold on the run from men who want to kill him. It also stars Jennifer Love-Hewitt (as his love interest) and Mickey Rourke (as his enemy). The confrontation eventually leads to Iglesias dying outside a church.
It has a plot. There's a beautiful woman wearing clothes. And the song has a distinguishable melody. See:
Somehow, we got from "I could be your hero, baby. I could kiss away the pain." to "I'm a freak". It's almost like we can trace the mindless debasement of pop culture from one Enrique Iglesias clip to another.
Robin Thicke, Pitbull and Miley Cyrus have set the bar so low that this is the new normal.
Clearly, female pop stars feel the pressure to get naked to sell a song. But our male pop stars think they need to dance fully clothed around a bevy of naked ladies grinding. Previously adorable singers like Iglesias employ the raunch & perve services of rappers like Pitbull because they think they need to.
Who will be the first pop star to just have sex on stage and film it? And who needs porn, when you've got clip like these?
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