THE BLOG

25 and Friendless

25/04/2016 12:01

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It is quite something to admit you have no friends. This doesn't mean you smell, are a failure, or a social moron. You are in fact, not alone! I implore all friendless people to stand up, fess up, and speak up.

The world is changing, and so are social networks (and not just because of Facebollock, Twatter, and InstaSham). As a twenty something there are likely to be several things happening in your life which means it is harder to sustain relationships.

Firstly, your friends are probably splintering into two groups - the home makers, and the career shakers. Some will be waiting for someone to put a ring on it, writing lists of baby names, and browsing RightMove for that perfect first home. Others will be continuing their study and racking up the debt, travelling, volunteering, and finding their feet in the world of work. There will be some admirable, yet slightly bonkers fools who may be attempting to walk the tightrope between the two! Now, whichever camp you fit into, life is gonna change.

If you went to uni, you would have built up a set of BFFs there, but upon graduation it is likely that you all dispersed, making those Sunday roast catch ups a little harder to orchestrate. People move back home, away for work, bugger off travelling - you know, get on and live their life after uni. This however leaves you a little lost - all of you. You spend your time talking about meeting up, trying to schedule something in once every few months, but that isn't enough. So then you either have to go back to your pre-uni network of mates who still live in your home town, and BAM. The next problem hits...

They are all getting hitched and spitting out sprogs! Your time with them is either spent babysitting, talking about grown up things in which you have little interest, and your go-to social event of Karaoke on a Thursday night is completely off the table. Probably going out at all actually unless it's to the local family petting farm. Urgh.

So you have a choice to make. Either have a hermit life, spend your evenings looking at everyone else's social lives online, and moping about missing your besties who are now spread all over the country. Or, get out there! It can be hard if you don't have a hobby, or if you live somewhere to which you have no connection, and know no-one. But it is possible.

As well as all the social media channels and dating sites, there are now sites which facilitate friendship! FYI, dating sites never work for meeting friends - one person always has more or less of an expectation than another. And that expectation usually starts with an 's' and ends in 'x'. Which is fine, if you have those needs to satisfy too - but friendship brings much more satisfaction than friends with benefits.

MeetUp is one of those sites. It is free to sign up, and you can search for local groups that fit with your interests, whether this be mindfulness, drinking, or books! Now it can be a bit nerve-racking attending your first 'meet up' - walking into a room full of people by yourself, feeling as though you have a neon sign screaming LONER to the world. But you will soon realise this is a room full of other people in your situation. Go to few, and find the one that is the right fit for you. Before you know it you will have a whole new social circle that are conveniently at your doorstep!

So although there are many challenges to face in your twenties, as part of generation rent, constantly on the move, there are also some nifty web based solutions to give you that little push you need.

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