THE BLOG

Seven Steps to Stop Playing Small

03/11/2014 11:41 GMT | Updated 31/12/2014 10:59 GMT

You know this feeling when you know you can and want more. It feels like a longing to express your message mixed with excitement and fear at the same time. Sometimes it feels too big, maybe overwhelming. But it doesn't have to be like that. I will share what I've learnt along my way. When year after year I was coming up with ideas and I saw the vision of where I wanted to be but something was still preventing me from stepping up to the field when game was actually happening. Things changed with time and this is what I've learnt.

Allow your vision to expand

Your vision, the most amazing career, success or showing up in the world with your message- this is a pearl you really have to look after. Protect it and spread some sacredness around it. Go to that vision often, dive in it with all your senses, let the vibration of it spread all over your body and resonate in every cell of your being. Get excited about the idea (actually you don't have to get excited, it should come naturally, your job is to allow yourself to feel the excitement). This will be the first step that will increase the fuel you may need when driving towards your vision.

 

Check your motives

Look at your vision closely, explore the motivation behind it, and see what you will have, feel or be like when you get there? I personally found it important to know what drives me towards it. If this is a genuine call of your potential, you will have a massive support on your way. If this is a short-timed desire to please your ego and make up for not feeling worthy enough, it may not probably be your real vision yet. I would say, save yourself the time and go for the real thing.

 

Break the vision into small steps and take the first step

The big picture can be overwhelming. Start to look closely at it, obviously it's made from smaller steps. Look at your vision as a process. What would be the first step you would have to take?

See yourself taking this step. You probably will feel a bit of discomfort as stretching the comfort zone normally comes with it. But stay with it. Imagine diving in the first step - see what other positive emotions and feelings would be there. Feel them. See what you can have when you take take action and leap towards your goal. Normally, it's really worth it.

Explore what holds you back

Now we're getting to the other side of things. Place where although everything seems possible and things are happening, there's an invisible power that's holding you back. Or you switch on the Self Sabotage Mode. Let's look at it. For years I had been allowing this power to keep me on hold. I was excited, starting on some projects, then I would either self-sabotage or withdraw. In my understanding I was ripping into what I was meant to become and thinking that maybe I wasn't ready yet. Fair enough. But when this continued for years, I decided to really find out what that power that was holding me back was about. And you know what that was? A simple fear of rejection.

So if you feel that 'something' is holding you back, explore it and bring more light to it. Under the spot light the thing that is holding you back doesn't have the same power. Carry on in taking steps towards your vision while being aware of the fear. Look at your fear as it was a friend who prefers you to play small so you don't have to go through this uncomfortable stretching of the comfort zone. Say to it: 'dear friend, I'm sorry, but I am ready for this stretch' and take the action.

Be bold. Be brave. Just do it.

So now, you already are balancing your motivation to reach your goals with the invisible powers that may limit you. Take advantage of it and consciously do things. Do anything that needs to be done. And doing things when you went through the above steps can be easier. Diving into the opportunity is great. I remember my first panic attack just before a talk I was meant to deliver - I had the worst thoughts coming up in my head. I just dragged myself to that room and stood in front of all women. And you know what?   Once I was there and I showed up - I knew exactly what I had to do. I had an amazing time and now I know that the inner voice may be scared like hell but I know there is something bigger than this and it actually is available if I only take the courage to show up.

Do 'crazy' things

There will be moments when some super extra ideas come to mind and your inner voice will want to cut them short considering them crazy. Are they really crazy? What's the worst that can happen if you submit this article, start writing this book or even send what you already wrote to a publisher?

Nothing much. And to be honest, you may discover that this was a missing element - your courage to do things you need to do.

Allow the creative flow to guide you

I found that it is important to switch on our feminine quality - the openness to the flow and uncertainty. If we want to control things, we may block the universe (or whatever you believe in) from helping us out. If we want to have things only our way, we may miss an even better version of what we want. It's a bit like being open to unexpected opportunities, people showing up in your life, being curious of them. And being ready to play the game.