THE BLOG

Are You Holding on to Things You 'Should' Do?

08/08/2014 14:27 BST | Updated 08/10/2014 10:59 BST

A lot of people carry around with them a large amount of "baggage" or "clutter" in their minds. When I say this I mean that they are still holding onto things that they say they 'should' do, but they really don't need to. The 'coulds' and 'shoulds' in your life that hold you back - you want to let go, but you don't.

An example is worrying about whether they should have bought that handbag they liked even though they couldn't afford it. Worrying about it and continuing to carry around that clutter doesn't do anyone any good.

This is very common with people going through or in the aftermath of divorce. You are not alone, I have done it myself.

Are you carrying around with you a lot of emotional attention that you really could be doing without instead of focusing on something more productive?

Are you like this? If you are, I bet it has a negative influence on your confidence and self esteem.

Take a look at your life and get rid of this baggage by asking yourself some questions and by completing the following exercise. In effect, what you are doing is making certain tasks "complete", drawing a line under them and moving on.

Another term for this is "psychological completion" or just "completion".

The following questions can be taken at one sitting or over a number of hours/days. By writing the answers down they become more formal.

Get to it and watch your confidence soar!

• Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at home

• Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at work

• Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with in any other areas of your life

Are you surprised at what you are putting up with in your life?

Make an action plan to get rid of these things that you have been putting up with. Or communicate to someone who can stop what you are putting up with. Take action!

• Make a list of things that are unresolved/unfinished in your life.

Make an action plan of how to reduce this number! Take action!

• Do you need to clear the air with anyone? If so, just do it! Life is too short!

• Did you ever say that you were going to call someone or keep in touch with someone yet have done nothing about it? If yes, call them or send an email to them today.

Let go of as many coulds, woulds, shoulds, maybes, oughts as you can. Take action!

By completing these exercises you will be able to focus more on the here, the now and the future. You will now be able to let go of some of the things that have been taking up your valuable attention units - those things that knock your self esteem.

Do you want to remain stuck and miserable? If your answer is no, take action.