THE BLOG

Much Ado About Nothing

07/07/2017 14:24

Clearly, this blog was inspired by Shakespeare - I believe his words continue to stand the test of time. At times, we humans can tend to create dramas as a way to attract attention, gain notoriety, or to just add more colour to our personality. As a coach, I've come across numerous men and women who pronounce their circumstances as, this could only happen to me. They seem to believe that this alerts others to their uniqueness, or specialness. Their lack of humility is such, that they take great pleasure in almost parading themselves in public. This need for attention is often an outcome of low self esteem. It's as if they need to feel endorsed, acknowledged and approved of. My point is that any amount of outside approval cannot build our self esteem, nor replace self-approval.

Like many psychological disorders, I believe it all begins in our childhood. Perhaps we didn't get enough attention, love or were subject to being disapproved of for not coming up to scratch. I'm not a qualified psychologist, I am a very experienced coach and avid observer of people, their behaviours and motivations. These are what I describe as attributes, in that they enable me to get the root of people's challenges. And by doing so, invariably can provide support, advice and mentorship. There's nothing wrong seeking attention, however, you don't want to be known as such - not good for your Personal Brand.

So many of us are confronted with trials amd tribulations that if we announced them all, we'd probably end up boring or irritating others. Moreover, it encourages one to focus on aspects of our life, we'd be better off not focusing on. Better, seek guidance from an expert in matters of the mind. Not suggesting that one needs special help, am suggesting we all can benefit from looking outside of ourselves. Don't underestimate fears, anxiety or feeling insecure. But don't overestimate these feelings. Because we feel what we feel, when we feel it. By overestimating we tend to create big dramas out of normal challenges, those which most of us experience in our lives.

At times, I too consider why it seems as though I have to confront so many challenges. Then, I reflect and conclude it's less about the challenges and more about my ability to transcend them. I fully understand why this advice is easier said than done, that's why so few are able to do it. In some ways, we just need to hear we are not alone in our plight. Yes, just being aware that other people are equally challenged in life enables us to take a breather, to reflect and feel less sorry for ourselves. By adjusting our focus to what is working in our lives, we prime our brains to be super receptive to opportunities that otherwise would escape us.

Let us not make much ado over nothing. Rather, let us minimise over reacting about challenges we face that are a part of everyday life. No, don't ignore them, but give them less attention than perhaps the attention we seek.

Some thoughts:

Note that neediness is a way of alienating people

Don't give in to your emotions

Spend less time thinking about what's wrong and more time on what's right

You never have to feel alone, because you are not

Neediness doesn't fill gaps, just widens them

Remember, we're all in this together

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