I have a confession to make and some of you might not take it too easily: my 18-month affair with Instagram, my social media partner has ended, and rather abruptly too.
I decided, for the best reasons too, that we were spending too much time together and we needed some separation. As I didn't want to have an ending with some sort of continuation, we agreed on a total separation, there and then.
There were no angry words or exchanges which might seem unusual, but it was by mutual agreement.
To those of you reading this who want to continue having an affair or a relationship with Instagram, I will not stand in your way or say anything derogatory about it.
But Instagram, you weren't for me.
For starters, we spent much too much time together looking at each other and trying to make ourselves happy, prettier or sexier. What could we do to make us more attractive to the outside world, one of us would continually ask.
Was it clothes, fancy dress, food, baking or animals that would make us the envy of the chattering classes?
We must have done something right along the way though. Although we tried to keep our affair "private" and only invited guests could join our parties when they felt up to it, suddenly I was bombarded by followers of fashion, cooking, horse riding or dog walks.
My Lakeland terrier, Topsy featured in so many posts and she was, in turn, "liked" by so many. I do recall that Freud, the father of psychoanalysis always had one of his little red chows (they were called Jofi and Lun) in the room with him during his therapy sessions. As Martin, Freud's eldest son once recalled: "When Jofi would get up and yawn, my father always knew that the hour was up."
But my dear Instagram, if our ending was too abrupt and sudden, I am sorry about that. For my part, the decision was indeed swift and I now have to stick with what I believe in - that our relationship became obsessive if not compulsive. I felt an enormous attraction to you and that I had to deal with you and your needs and requests every time I looked at my mobile phone or my apps.
And I have a confession to make - now that I am on my own again and single, I am enjoying the free time I have and I know this will hurt, but I don't really miss you that much. I hope you will meet someone suitable in the near future.
I didn't know how to announce our break up to our family and friends, so to some I sent an email to others a text.
One of our mutual friends replied rather sympathetically: "I don't understand. Can't you still be friends and just see each other a bit less? We need you."
Hey, we'll both still be connected to the wider world. For my part, I'll still be blogging - on the Huffington Post, where else?Suggest a correction